My girlfriend talks dirty to me when we’re in bed. At first, I thought it was super-hot, but I didn’t pay attention to the words she was saying and just got down to business. She never said anything to me about the meaning behind the words.
Sometimes I would try something I thought she had mentioned, but they weren’t part of my repertoire, and though I like sex, I guess I’m not that adventurous. But again, she never said anything to me. I thought we were good.
Then the other day I was working out in our spare room, listening to music, when my Air pods connected to her phone. I suddenly found myself listening to a very sexy conversation between my girlfriend and another woman (whose voice I didn’t recognize). It took me a minute to clue in and I guess they didn’t hear my heavy breathing (from my workout) before I quickly removed the earbuds and put them down.
Now I don’t know what to do. Help!
Too sexy for me
Your girlfriend clearly needs more than you are currently giving her in terms of sex. You can walk away – or you can try something new and see if you like it.
If you can remember any of the things she was saying last time you were in bed together, you could try that. Or, you could be open and say something to her like, “I finally get it that you want me to do more sexually. I’ve never been all that adventuresome in bed. Can you take the lead and show me what you like?”
Just make sure that you both have a safe word that you abide by, in case either of you ever feels uncomfortable.
My neighbours across the street leave their curtains open all the time. We do too, because we like the sunlight, and when we lie in bed, we can see the stars through the trees. I close the drapes when I’m changing, though I often get dressed in the washroom.
Lately, I’ve been waking up around midnight. I get up to use the washroom and habitually look out the window. And several times now I have seen my neighbours having sex, lights on, in front of the window, as though they are performing for all to see.
The first time, I quickly looked away. The second time, my eyes lingered. The few times after that, I almost willed myself awake. I know it’s wrong, but don’t think they would care.
What do you think?
Peeping Pepper
I think you know exactly what to do. Your neighbours are exhibitionists and enjoy taking the “risk” of someone seeing them, since they stand in front of an open window. But it’s not free porn. You accidentally happened on this peep show, and you’ve enjoyed free access.
Close your blinds. Stay in bed. Watch porn on your laptop. You’ll never be able to look your neighbours in the eye again.
My parents are so in love, it’s cute. They look at each other with googly eyes all the time, hug every chance they can, and kiss constantly. But sometimes my dad grabs my mom’s butt, or her boobs when he thinks no one is looking, and it really upsets me.
Can I tell him?
Family Love
Absolutely! No matter your age or gender, since you haven’t revealed either, you have every right to privately mention to your dad how you feel. Hopefully, he’ll hear you out and respect your opinions. At the very least, he’ll respect the fact that he needs to watch his “public” behaviour, even though he’s in his own home.
FEEDBACK Regarding the guy with a grumpy girlfriend in the mornings (Feb. 20):
Reader – “While it isn’t funny, I had to smile at that letter. I too was not a morning person. Everything irritated me. You couldn’t talk to me until after I had my coffee. While I had been snoring for years, which never bothered my wife, she said I had started to stop breathing at several points throughout the night. For some reason, that bothered her. I suffered through a sleep study and ended up with a CPAP machine. It really helped my wife – I found her MUCH less irritating in the morning.”
Lisi – So your lack of a good nights’ sleep was causing you to be grumpy. Perhaps, as I mentioned, the letter writer’s girlfriend should be exploring what makes mornings so difficult for her. As in your case, the solution could be gamechanging.