This is the third time in my life that I’m seeing a therapist.
My previous therapist was a quack. She recommended that I take Prozac; but she couldn’t prove that I had a chemical disorder in my brain.
Moreover, I worried that it might make me less sensitive to my problems, yet they would still be there. I also worry about relying on drugs as the solution to my problems.
Then she got into this quasi-religious nonsense, e.g. “hand over your problems to your higher being.” What does this mean?
My current therapist isn’t making progress. She dances around the issue. Some of her suggestions have been wrong. Or, all she does is repeat what I say.
Is therapy nothing more than expensive whining? Am I going to find answers with which I’m going to be happy?
I don't want to waste my time and money chasing solutions that don't exist.

- Doubting in New York

Therapy can only work if you want to solve your problems rather than just talk about them. That’s not a judgment, but a reality - some people go to a therapist’s office to talk about their issues but, for a variety of reasons, they do not really want to change anything in their lives.
Or, they are too skeptical to try different approaches, or haven’t done the research to find out what kind of therapy suits them best (e.g. short term, long-term, cognitive, etc.), or expect immediate solutions.
Only you know whether these are possible roadblocks you’re putting in the way of your therapy process.
I recommend you take a break and think about the main issue you’d like to resolve.
Then interview a few therapists on the phone (or stay with the current one), and attend a few sessions before you assess how it’s going.

I haven’t seen my dad since I was younger. I wanted to look for him but was scared because I was raised by my Mom’s relatives who said he was into some illegal things and no good for me.
But I waited too long and my father died recently. I went to the funeral home to pay my last respects but was afraid to say anything to anyone in case he never told his new family about me or in case his own family didn’t remember me.
I’d love to get to know his family and new wife and child.
How do I do it, and how do I break the news to my family that raised me?

- Missed Out in Ontario

Write a letter to your late father’s relatives and a separate letter to his new family, expressing your condolences. Express your desire to get to know them. Say how sorry you are that you missed out on having time with your father while he was alive, but you were young and the situation was not in your control.
Be prepared that there may not be a similar desire from these people to pursue a relationship. They don’t know you, and they may be grieving their loss and not want to stir more emotions for now.
Tell your own family that you love them but you feel a right and interest in getting to know your father’s family.

My friend who’s getting married said I have to give her at least $150 dollars as a wedding gift to cover the dinners at $75 a person for me and one guest.
I make less than $20,000 a year, pay for college, have a kid, and have important bills to pay.
She says that’s what guests are supposed to do. Is she right?
She’s complaining that she knows other guests will be "skimping" on gift money for her and her fiancé.
She wants to put a down payment on a house with the wedding money. I told her if she really wanted a house, not to have such a big, expensive wedding.
She also said I can't bring my co-worker because he’s Mexican and I don't want to give people who think like that even one penny.

- Wedding Blues

The choice is clear: Don’t attend. You can’t afford what she expects, and it appears that giving a smaller gift will cause friction between you, and she’ll badmouth you as another “skimper.”
More important, she’s a bigot who’s insulting your association with your co-worker/friend, so she’s hardly a great pal to please.