I met a girl last summer, we just hung out, both never showing any real interest in each other.
Finally, on New Year’s Eve, I made out with her. I started liking her and texting her more.
She’d suggest going somewhere in a group, never one on one.
When I’d talk to her in person she’d be so shy, never talking the same with me as she does with my guy friends. I realized that she liked me.
I never told anyone my feelings. When she asked one of my friends, he didn’t know. He asked what she thinks of me. She said she does like me.
I didn’t know any of this until a rumour spread that we have a thing together. She got mad and asked me if I was spreading the talk.
Her friend even asked what happened on New Years and all I said was, “We just kissed.”
She’d told me before the semester started that she has to focus more on school so I didn’t text or Snapchat her much. I was pretty mad about these B.S. rumours being spread about us, which I didn’t start.
But when I asked her the next weekend to come out with my friends and hers, she said she might be going somewhere else. The next week we weren’t even texting each other.
Finally, I asked if she wanted to come to a house party. She replied, “We’ll see,” but didn’t respond again until the next night when the party had already started, saying she had to study.
I decided then not to talk to her anymore but I still like her and don’t know how she feels about me.
I know it’s hard for her to hang out even with her girlfriends because of school and the hard program that she’s in.
I still want to talk to her but it’s hard over text and Snapchat. I just need to see her in person so I can talk with her and then start messaging again.
I’m not sure she knows that I do still like her or even that I did.
No wonder you’re “confused!” So many starts and stops getting to know this shy girl, with friends and rumours getting involved.
It’s especially confusing when emotional feelings of liking and wanting to be liked, are fairly new to you both.
Sharing your story of what teenage social life is like in the age of constant texts and instant “snaps” provides insight that I hope will help other teens with inner feelings and early dating.
It might help for you to know that there’s always uncertainty among any two people of any age who are trying to get to know and trust each other.
But teenagers especially are dealing with instantly changing and newly-emerging social media, as well as group pressures and runaway rumours which get exaggerated.
You’re right to try to talk to this girl in person. Just ask to meet somewhere for a couple of minutes. If that does happen, just say you want her to know that you do like her and did from the start.
If she won’t meet you alone, then text simply and briefly that you didn’t have anything to do with the rumours.
As for anything more personal, phone her, do not text. It’s too easy for someone looking to start more gossip to find and send that text around, embarrassing you both.
My husband died three years ago at 60. Our two sons are in their 20's.
One spends holiday dinners with his girlfriend and her family. The other avoids holidays, staying in bed with hangovers.
Our communications minimal unless they want money.
My husband and I raised them better than how they’re behaving to me, with love and laughter in our home.
I know they both have lives to live but they’re making me feel that I don’t exist.
Your sons lost their father, who at 60 would still have represented a guiding hand, moral compass, and base of security.
Their loss is as painful to them as yours of your husband. They need your comforting, just as you need their support.
Invite the son with girlfriend and child (and her parents) for an Easter meal at your place. Tell your other son to bring a friend.
Start a new tradition that honours their Dad and you.
Tip of the day:
Teenagers need awareness of how social media, text, and messaging apps complicate easily fragile emotions and early dating.