My wife has a more demanding job than I have and travels a lot for work, leaving me with our two sons, ages five and seven.

I have the help of a daytime nanny and the company of a cocker spaniel, and since my job has regular office hours, it all works well. Except for the criticisms of others.

My neighbours try to be helpful by regularly inviting me and the kids in for a meal, but inevitably someone states "concerns" about how I handle "the loneliness," and how the kids feel without Mommy around.

My own mother periodically worries that my wife's absences could be excuses for "something going on," and maybe I should consider finding someone who wants to stay home with me.

I forgive her; I'm her only child. But the worst annoyance comes from my so-called buddies who want to take me out for some fun while she's gone... strip clubs being their starting point.

I love my wife, her income boosts our lifestyle considerably so that we live well and vacation well. I can continue with things as they are, but I can't stand the chatter about it. Do I isolate myself and the kids from everyone else, or just suck it up?

Wits End

Set the record straight. Neither you nor your children need to hear or feel any of this negative attitude towards your family life or your wife.

Only accept a neighbor's invitation if you truly like the person, and then say you appreciate the hospitality but by no means is it necessary as you and the kids truly enjoy your time together.

Say how lucky you feel that you have so much opportunity to bond with your sons in a way many fathers don't get to do.

Be even clearer with your mother. Say you understand she wants the best for you... and that's what you have. You and your wife agreed on your current division of jobs and responsibilities because it provides you with what you both want. You welcome her support, but not her criticism.

Lastly, tell your buddies to call when they want to watch a soccer game with you.... preferably at your place.

My husband's 14 years younger than I am (I'm 45). We want a family and I conceived when I was 40. I had a miscarriage and have been unable to conceive again, and can't afford in vitro fertilization (IVF).

The lack of a child has ruined our once happy relationship. He says he has nothing to celebrate and I think blames me, due to my age. There's been no intimacy for a year. He says he's not seeing anyone else, yet he goes out at least one night weekly, only saying he's out "with friends." I can't decide if I should leave or if he's in a depression (i.e. Is the issue me or depression).

Feeling Hollow

You may both be suffering some natural depression from the loss and disappointment, and should both explore this before giving up on the marriage.

You've spent too much time focused on blame instead of moving forward. See your own doctor and suggest he do the same - you may also want referral to a therapist - to discuss the miscarriage, and how it affected each of you.

Then, discuss your options together - adoption and/or helping disadvantaged children are one route. But there are many other ways to "celebrate" having good health and enough resources to be useful and loving.

My husband likes threesomes with other men. He's bi-sexual. Can this ever work? I'm okay with them.

Unsure

If you're "okay" with this, why ask for advice? The obvious conclusion is that you have some worries about it... not necessarily with his bi-sexuality, but with how it's being handled in your relationship.

The most important considerations are about your health and his... are the "threesomes" using protection or risking sexually transmitted diseases, and are you being exposed to these? If so, the practices have to change or you are foolishly allowing yourself to be vulnerable to some sexual diseases that can become very painful yet cannot be cured.

Also, if you feel that these sexual liaisons interfere with the intimacy between you two, the divide between you will only increase over time, especially if he shows a preference for the threesomes.

Think through what your true comfort zone allows... the rest is nobody else's business.