I have a problem letting go from past relationships and have a soft heart for men who love me whom I don't love.
I met this guy when visiting back home and said I wasn't looking for a relationship, but he still wanted to hang out together.
When I called to say I got back safely, he said he's in love with me, but I'm not in love with him.
I said he needs to move on, yet I feel badly for him. He's also too young; and I'm still hurting from my past relationship. It seems like I cannot let go from my ex.
I told this guy that, but he seems attached.
I'm also seeing someone here and I've been distant from him.
He keeps asking me what's wrong and I keep answering "nothing's wrong."
How do I let go and move on?

- Soft-hearted

Take a breather and stop bouncing from one guy to another.
If you go from your ex to a filler relationship, then pick up a lovesick puppy-boy on the way, no wonder you're feeling overwhelmed by past and present connections!
Getting over a break-up goes more easily if you spend some time reflecting on what you learned about yourself and what you want for the future. Then you can be more selective in your next dating period, and not get drawn in by other people's needs.
Instead, it's time to focus on your own, in a self-protective way.
Tell the toy-boy and the rebound guy you're sorry but you somehow misled them. And move on, slowly, after you figure out what you really want.

A year ago I started seeing a wonderful woman while I was going through a divorce; I fell in love.
This is my first relationship after 13 years with my ex-wife whom I met in college. I've fallen hard, despite the 10-year age difference - I'm 37, she's 47.
She's never been married and has a son from a prior relationship who's going off to college.
We've talked about moving in with each other.
I'm interested in spending the rest of my life with her yet can't get past the fact that she's had casual sexual relationships in the past and admitted to a one-night stand, once only, several years ago.
I've only been with five women and I hold strong views on casual sex.
She's been with many more partners.
It's ruining my ability to respect her and move forward.
Counselling has not worked for me, so do I find someone who's more fitting or continue to drive myself crazy?
When I bring it up, she tells me not to judge her but I can't help it.
She says I'm her soul mate, but how can I feel special being one of many?

- Hung Up

The issue here is not who's purer, but what you can live with and what you can't.
Judgment is relative, since neither of you have gone the Biblical route of marrying your one true partner. But if every time you two become intimate, you're going to question her past and demean her morality, it's a set-up for misery for you both.
Counselling hasn't worked because you're already fixed in your views. But if you still want to try to work things out, you two should consider going to a therapist together, and talking out your different life experiences.
To make it, you'll need to develop understanding and compassion for the way each of you has lived your lives until now.

My boyfriend of three years and I get along excellently; however, I've twice discovered that he's downloaded numerous pictures of naked women.
He said his friends did it when they were here. He knows it hurts me and feels like cheating to me, and the dates of download didn't match when his friends had visited. He finally confessed.
I said if I see it again, I'll leave.
Now I've found CDs with images of naked women.
Am I making a big deal out of nothing?

- Upset

It's a big deal when a partner lies, and repeatedly causes hurt and conflict, no matter what it's about.
Though he'll try to dismiss it as meaningless, it reveals he doesn't value your feelings.
This is about more than naked women, it's about a relationship without respect.
Follow through and leave.
Let him discover whether these bare images are company enough to replace you.