My 22-year-old daughter has just come to me with the news that she’s engaged. I have met her boyfriend twice in the six months they have been dating. He is the same age.

There are no religious or cultural issues in either family which would push them to make this commitment so young and so quickly. She is not pregnant. Both still live at home and neither have enough money, alone or combined, to purchase a home. In today’s economy, I don’t even know if they can afford rent.

They both work, but are brand new in their careers, at the bottom of the ladder and make very small incomes. I don’t want to make them feel badly, or have any ill feelings towards me, but what are they doing? My wife is beside herself! She wants to lock our daughter in her room for the next six months (not really). She thinks this is nuts!

What do we do?

Too young!

That is young and fast, in my opinion. I certainly wasn’t ready to get engaged at 22. And from this side of life, I would highly recommend dating someone longer than six months before making a lifelong commitment.

But some people get engaged quickly; they feel, hopefully, that they “know.” And who are we, as an outsider to the couple, to judge their relationship and their feelings? As her parents, you could request the opportunity to spend more time with her fiancé, and them together as a couple. If they anticipate or expect any financial assistance with the wedding, you could discreetly build time between now and then.

However, to maintain a healthy connection with them both, it’s important to support them in their decision, whether you think it’s the right one. The last thing you want to do is create a rift causing her to distance from you.

My husband of 40 years - we’re both pushing 70 - thinks we should amp up our sex life. I love being intimate with my husband. We have had dry spells over the decades, sometimes he had issues, sometimes I had issues, sometimes we just weren’t into it. But we’ve come through the other side and we both realize that we enjoy sex, that it’s very healthy for us, both physically and mentally, and it’s an activity.

However, neither of us is into bondage nor anything too racy. He has some health issues that preclude much wildness; and I have some physical issues that don’t allow for much movement beyond the norm.

So, what does he mean when he says amp up? I’m afraid to ask! I’m also too embarrassed to mention this to any of my friends because most don’t have sex anymore at all.

Senior Sex

Your husband loves you and wants to increase the fun you two are already having between the sheets. The only way you’ll know what he’s suggesting is if you ask him.

But I have a suggestion: since you’re wary of what his idea may be, do some research on your own. Find something – a sex toy, a position, a move – that interests you and that you think you can handle.  Now, when you ask him what he means by amping up, hear him out. If it scares you, don’t do it. It won’t be enjoyable. But instead of turning him down outright, suggest your idea as a consolation.

Then together do some research. Maybe find some porn you both appreciate. Make the journey, the trial and error, about being together and enhancing your relationship. You’re lucky to have this at your age, because, as you say, many people don’t.

FEEDBACK Regarding the 80-year-old who wants a divorce (Nov. 21):

Reader – “I agree with your advice of marriage counselling and also suggest a trip to the doctor with his wife. Stuff happens at this age…. but a marriage vow is in sickness and in health.

“However, if he thinks a divorce can solve his no sex problem, I would ask the following questions: Who will you be sleeping with? How does a mid-eighty-year-old go about finding a new wife that has the same sexual desire as him? He’s had five years to think about it, so what’s his plan? Does he suffer from delusions about his own sexual performance?

“If he has that magic formula, he should start an Instagram page. I’m sure there are more 80-year-olds sitting around asking the same question.”