Over the last few years we were together, my wife cheated on me several times. We’d married when she was 19, and I was 24. We were close friends but she said she no longer felt chemistry between us.
A year ago, we moved back together, to save our mortgage and try to make our relationship work again. She usually slept in another bedroom.
Ten months ago, she said she’d fallen for another guy and was leaving immediately. I was devastated again, and got counselling. Several months later, I started dating someone.
Meanwhile, my wife was assaulted and abused by her guy. She’s been diagnosed as bipolar and with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). She asked me to take her back and, with counselling and medication for her, try again. But I love my girlfriend and her kids. We’re expecting (my first, her third). I’m happy that I’ll be a dad.
I didn’t expect to be so affected by my wife’s plea to take her back. I know I’ll always love her and regret what happened between us but I thought I could start a new happier life.
Should I leave this great new relationship to return, when I know that what used to be is shattered?

- Am I crazy?

You’re wrestling with a parting that’s painful but inevitable.
The history is a shadow on your marriage, especially when you’ve seen a brighter chance ahead. If you’d had children together, it’d be worth one more try, but you’ve started a new family.
Be supportive to your ex’s efforts regarding her condition, but be clear that you’re just friends now, and committed elsewhere.
With all this drama in your previous relationship, it’d be wise to consider you and your girlfriend getting some short-term counselling about creating your soon-to-be busy, full household together.

I’ve discovered that my son, 14, has been dressing up in my clothes in private. He never dressed up in girl’s clothing as a young child.
My husband also discovered a story my son had written where the main character, a young boy, goes shopping with his mother who wants to buy girl’s clothing for him, which he enjoys wearing.
My husband’s been accepting of what we think is cross-dressing behaviour. However, I’m stressed out over it, worried it’ll become a lifelong fetish/behaviour, and unsure how healthy it is from a societal perspective.
I’ve tried not to overreact. But I did express that he stay away from my closet as it’s a private space.
I’ve sought some information on the topic, but haven’t found anything helpful.
He’s otherwise a lovely, kind, athletic and intelligent boy.

- Upset Mother

Your first instinct was correct – do NOT overreact. Many young teens are curious about the whole topic of sexuality and some youths experiment with wearing make-up, and trying on feminine clothes without ever becoming cross-dressers. So, while it’s worthwhile for you to research information, it’s important not to slap a label on his behaviour.
Experts say that most cross-dressers are heterosexual and cross-dress only on a part-time basis, so don’t make assumptions about your son’s future lifestyle.
If he sneaks clothes from your closet, use the opportunity to open up communication about sexuality in general.

Since spitting is socially acceptable in some countries, is it rude to tell my recently arrived father-in-law that it’s considered disgusting here?

- Grossed Out

Explain about germs, and how infectious diseases are passed through contact.
Also, buy a supply of disposable tissues for him and discuss their use.

I’m six months pregnant, having a normal, healthy pregnancy. My belly looks “big” because I get bloated (a common side-effect) and because of my age, 39.
People I barely know ask when I’m due and make comments about my belly size: “Are you sure it’s not twins?” “You’ll need a Cesarean,” etc.
A male co-worker told me to watch how much I eat! Why are people so insensitive?
I want my pregnancy to be a happy time, without being scrutinized about the shape and size of my belly.
How can I respond to such comments?

- Annoyed

Wear a smile that’s really big, and, have these stock responses ready: 1) Laugh… then say, “I’ll be sure and pass your comments onto my doctor” (at least some people may get how ridiculous they sounded).
2) Ignore, and turn away or change the topic.
But remember, most people are just showing interest, albeit awkwardly.