My parents’ wedding anniversary is soon; their only family here is my dad’s sister, whose husband is judgmental, hypocritical, narrow-minded, racist and VERY loud about it all. My parents are stressed for weeks after being with him. Some family friends refuse to attend functions because of things he’s said to them.
My cousin’s brought his now- fiancée and other friends to past functions without advance notice, and been rude about it. But we have a specific number of seats reserved and if he brings her and others, it’ll end our two families’ relationship.
Do I ask up front if we should expect more people (that we have to pay for), or do I say that the invitation is only for them?

- Expecting Problems

Your cousin’s fiancée should now be considered part of the family; but, inform him ahead that he must pay for any extra friends, as your resources are limited and so are the seats. This is a basic request when there’s a costly family event, and you have the right to issue it, so long as you’re polite, honest and clear.
Obviously, the uncle must be invited or you’ll be insulting your aunt. Nevertheless, she knows what he’s like; so assign somebody else or ask her directly to please keep watch on him and divert him if he starts attacking anyone verbally.

My neighbours, in their late 70s, fight loudly; it’s extremely stressful, as I’ve always been terrified by such scenes. I can hear them within my detached house across two driveways, with doors and windows shut.
I’ve talked to police who said I could call them out IF AN ASSAULT WAS TAKING PLACE!
I’m concerned for my own safety; I’m constantly aware of them watching my movements.
When I returned from a month away, they said that the person I hired to visit and take in my mail had never shown. This was untrue, evidenced by food in the fridge, bed slept in, etc. BUT Mr. and Mrs. Next Door had taken and kept my mail for my return - including cheques I’d arranged for the person to forward to me.
Should I call the police next time and request that they intervene?
A longtime neighbour of theirs said one of their sons died suddenly. I’ve seen their general health deteriorate and feel one or both, may be developing dementia. Their only son lives many miles away, and visits rarely.
Do I wait for things to get worse? I’m already stressed from my own health problems, living alone, in poverty, with my family far away.
Sometimes I feel, for my own sake, I should move, but that’s expensive.

- Uncomfortable Neighbour

Talk to neighbours who know the couple better: If they, too, feel there’s a need for intervention due to deteriorating health factors, they should 1) call the son; and 2) with his knowledge, call in community care services to assess the situation.
During fights, call police if you hear threats amidst yelling, or other signals of violence. But please try to separate your own situation from that next door: your concern for your own “safety” seems unreasonable.
The couple may be intrusive – perhaps you should send “forward mail” notices ahead to senders, before you go away again – but they’re not doing anything personally harmful, other than being nosy.
Your own fears from the past, and present circumstances living alone, have affected your view. Try to get out to free community events, be sociable with other neighbours for company, and distract yourself with music/news/ TV entertainment, when noises waft in from next door.

I’m a middle aged man, living with a woman and her young daughter for five years; for three years, we’ve constantly argued. The woman contributes very little toward expenses. I want her out.
She knows I don’t want her daughter to be homeless, so she’s taking advantage and hasn’t looked for a new place to live.
She’s threatened to take half my house if I take legal action to have her removed.
How can I evict her out without harming her daughter?

- Wits’ End

Two realities: 1) This WILL cause upheaval for her daughter, but living amidst constant arguing isn’t healthy for the girl either.
2) See your lawyer to discuss your rights and responsibilities.
In some jurisdictions, ending a “common-law” relationship of this duration calls for property settlements.
Even if not, you could still consider giving some money to the woman, to help her and the girl re-locate with dignity.