I’d pretty much given up on finding a good girl I could take home to Mom, and decided that I’d start sleeping around; it never actually happened, I just stopped searching.  

Recently, I found a really good girl – we’re both Catholic, with similar values, and want similar things in our relationship. We study in different schools, but in the same city.

She doesn’t want to return to her school here next year, so she broke things off before we really got anywhere. She claims she wants to stick to her plan and that being with me might alter that. I’m too prideful so I tried not to show emotion and said, “whatever you want,” but I still do want to see where we go from there.

I think she’s scared of getting attached and changing her “plans” and I don’t know whether to call her again, or wait for her to contact me.

I can’t get back to a “sleep around” state of mind, and I really don’t want that. I don’t think girls like her are abundant. Your advice?

- Too Prideful

It’s about Pride versus Potential. 

If you stay distant, you lose your chance at getting to know this girl better. You also confirm her belief that she shouldn’t get involved with you because you don’t follow your heart and try to work things out. Call her.

Don’t try to change her plans, just say you like her and feel you should both enjoy each other’s company and worry later about how to handle a long-distance connection, if that’s what you then both want. Say that you’re open to all possibilities, even you being the one to move where she ends up studying, if you both want a relationship by then.

By the way, “sleeping around” would turn YOU into a guy that girls like her don’t want to take home to their Moms. Stick with your better instincts.

I’m a young “senior” with several chronic illnesses which affect my diet; I’ve lost a lot of weight at my doctor’s urging and am very glad I did. 

Unfortunately, conditions like diverticulosis, diabetes and high-cholesterol require lifelong monitoring. I’m fine with this too.

My problem is dealing with people who won’t accept my “no thank-you” when they offer me food that I know I shouldn’t eat. Some get very snarky with me about not liking their ethnic food (I do, if I know what’s in it.)

No alcohol or sparkly beverages, and limited amounts of coffee are now part of my reality. If I eat the food or drink some offer me without telling me what’s in it and how spicy it is, I risk pain, high fever, nausea and about a month of misery.

Please help me devise a strategy for dealing with my problem short of avoiding food-elated events.

- Trying to Cope

Worry less about others’ sensitivities, and by firmly taking care of your own health, they’ll catch on. The operative phrase is, “I have serious health conditions (no descriptions necessary) that demand food restrictions.” 

If pressed, you can add this: “If I don’t follow them, I can end up with severe pain and life-threatening complications.” Period.

If you’re invited somewhere providing food, explain your limitations, or bring your own. With the boomer population at an age of increased health considerations, many restaurants are more amenable to dietary restrictions; you have a right to expect family and friends to also be accepting.

We emigrated here four years ago for our children’s education and improved quality of life for us all. But our daughter, 13, creates issues, daily, about wanting to go back – without any reason or logic. She’s rude, stubborn and misbehaving with us. But she’s doing well at school. 

I was laid off work, and am now studying Human Resources Management.

We don’t foresee anything positive happening soon regarding jobs. What’s better – return home for our daughter’s sake or wait here till the economy improves?

- Confused

Her logic is that of a young teenager, whose internal emotional and hormonal changes (natural) are compounded by external changes of adjustment to a new land and new circumstances (imposed). Understand her, comfort her, but decide on the basis of the whole family’s future not just hers. 

The economy is in flux globally, so moving back will just be another upheaval, and possibly no easier regarding work.