I love my boyfriend (one year) so much that I’ll do anything for him. However, he doesn’t love me the same way. Sometimes, he doesn’t treat me nicely, knowing I’ll always come back; he makes me cry a lot.     
      He owns a store and frequently flirts with the girls he’s hired and his customers, several customers have told me. He goes to Cuba every two months but only with his friends.     
      I’ve stopped going out with my friends and always want to be with him. We’re both divorced. I’m scared to lose him and be lonely again. How should I handle the situation, as I don’t want to break up with him?
      - Troubled

Sadly and foolishly, you’ve positioned yourself as a doormat waiting to be stepped on. And you allow it … you even invite it by showing him “anything goes.”    
      I fear you’ll end up lonelier than ever when he eventually leaves you. Worse, you may become “that woman who stayed” with an abuser.    
      Get yourself to a therapist: Learn what negative messages convinced you that you have no value unless some loser’s jerking you around.     
      Ask yourself where you want to be in five years – still crying, still left behind while he plays around? Or having confidence that you deserve better, and have moved on.
      That’s the ONLY way to handle this crummy situation you call a relationship.

I'm a mid-30s woman with a fear of commitment. Last summer, I met a man, mid-40s. He’d left another city after his then-girlfriend of seven years cheated. Previously, he’d divorced.     
      We both clicked  - he was ready for a serious relationship, wanting to be together constantly and talking about moving in together. I pushed him away because I wasn't sure he was "the one."     
      Twice, I disappointed him by putting my friends first. Finally, we had a huge argument where he called me out on how I treated him. I argued that he didn't address any of this previously in such detail.     
      He said I didn't take him seriously and perhaps I didn't. He’d been hurt by two women and wasn't about to let me break his heart too. I was dumped.     
      I sent two email messages detailing how sorry I was for not appreciating him, no response. I can't stop thinking about him and keep analyzing what I did wrong. I wanted a second chance; I saw what I missed out on.     
      Then, he sent a New Year’s email of good wishes. I suggested we meet for coffee. We never set a date but exchanged numbers. I didn't hear back. Recently I sent a message but he said he wasn’t comfortable and didn't want to be let down again.     
      Do I give up on him or try to seek an actual discussion for reconciliation?
      - Regretful

Back off. You did your damage to the wrong guy. Your over-intellectualized response to his hurt feelings sealed the finish. This was, third time and OUT.    
      I question whether  - once you were secure that he’s serious about you again - you’d still ultimately push this man away, because your regrets are more about not getting him, so that you can be the one to choose.      
      This chapter is the one that should change your old story. Lots of people are hesitant about making a full commitment.    
      If you examine your own experiences, it’ll probably be apparent where this is coming from. It’s time to look at relationships, and your own hang-ups, with fresh eyes.

My long-ago best friend got married and had kids; recently we reconnected and started dating. She’s struggling on her own. A young boy has been looking after her children while she’s working, and he sleeps over.     
      During a conversation I was told that he sleeps in her bed with her. I don’t for a moment believe there’s anything sexual happening. Your thoughts?
      - Curious

No matter the explanation, everyone in this scenario is at risk, if only for gossip and nasty speculation.    
      Moreover, the boy may be inappropriately aroused, your girlfriend may be seeking inappropriate comfort and the kids are getting the wrong message about where people sleep.    
      If there aren’t enough beds, buy an air mattress for the boy or a futon couch-bed.    
      BUT, aside from immediately solving this problem, make sure you’re not being drawn into the role of Rescuer. It’s not a sound basis for a long-term, equal relationship.