My fiance and I are both 27, we have a son, 2 ½, and we’re expecting a little girl in two months. 

My issue is my physical state of pregnancy. It’s bothering me far more this time, and I know it’s making my spouse feel inadequate. I’m 5’2, with a slender frame normally around 105 pounds. But I’m much bigger now than I was with my first pregnancy.

I rarely feel the urge for intimacy, because it either hurts a lot, or it hurts a little and just feels awkward and uncomfortable. I love my fiancé and find him incredibly desirable still. However, rarely do I find any pleasure in sex now.

I know he’s trying to show me he still finds me desirable despite my growing belly, and other parts. I’m not sure if this is a mental thing with me, or a normal thing that some women go through, or if there’s a medical reason for my discomfort.

I’ve tried to describe my physical discomfort to my spouse, and to assure him he’s not the issue.

Should I seek advice from my doctor?

- Intimately Frustrated

See your doctor about this, talk to other pregnant mothers through popular moms-to-be web sites, read books on pregnancy, as all are ways to help you understand what’s going on. 

There may well be a medical explanation for the pain you experience with sex, and that’s important to know. When your body is in the physiological process of growing a child, there’s nothing that’s too personal to share with the physician in charge of your care.

If you learn that there’s no physical problem, then you may be in a heightened state of sensitivity that’s not uncommon to pregnant women. Many partners want to be part of the pregnancy process, so it’s only fair to share your feelings with your fiancé, and talk together about how to adjust to this period.

Above all, don’t just shut him out; you need him now more than ever, just as he needs you.

I’m 50, divorced, mother of two grown children. I’m extremely fit, active, and have lots of friends and social outlets. Yet for the last five years, I’ve been in love with a married man. 

He’s a good friend and strong advisor to me. I see him in some social situations that even include his wife. We’ve been intimate though this is not that common... but we trade emails often, including suggestive ones.

While he knows how I feel, and cares for me as a friend, I know that he doesn’t love me.

I think I need to break off any relationship with him but I can’t seem to do it. I’m actually thinking of moving out of the city to another place I love, but he’s one of the reasons I can’t bear to leave.

- Addicted to him

You’re hiding behind fear and excuses. You’re afraid of taking the normal risk of having an open relationship with someone who’s available to you. And you find every excuse to avoid untangling from your ties to this man, lest you make another “mistake” such as whatever resulted in your divorce. I

It’s twisted logic, however, since you’re already involved in a HUGE mistake - your “friend” will never be more to you, you’re both disrespecting his wife, and you’re personally wasting precious years when you could be enjoying true companionship and intimacy.

Move forward, instead of re-playing this old story, on Stuck.

I’m 21 and been looking for a job all my adult years, with no luck. Places say they’re hiring, then they say they’re not. 

One retail store emailed me back that I “don’t match their qualifications.” I’m filling out the stuff correctly.

Am I doing something wrong? I have no job experience whatsoever and it’s like no one will even give me a chance!

- Discouraged

You need qualifications to make up for your lack of work experience. These are tough times with many skilled people laid off and forced to find new jobs. 

To compete in this market, you need to boost your education – whether it’s getting a high-school degree, taking courses in the field that interests you, attending computer workshops, etc.

Also, consider offering yourself as an intern to a place that’s not hiring. While there’s no pay, it’s a way to gain experience.