I’ve just moved out of my parents’ house, for real. I left about seven years ago to go to university in another city, but I always came back on holiday and in the summers. I finished university, travelled for a bit, then did another course and lived at home.

I’ve just started my first real job in my career path and decided it was time to move out. It’s so expensive in this city that I was forced to find a roommate to share expenses. Fortunately, one of my friends happened to know someone also looking. We met for lunch with our mutual friend and decided we would try living together.

As far as a friend and roommate go, she’s great. We have similar schedules, similar eating habits and tastes, and so far, our friends seem to like each other well enough. The problem is financial. Her parents are paying her rent, including all utilities, and give her a monthly allowance for groceries. The only thing she needs to spend her own money on is entertainment.

My parents aren’t helping me at all. I’m working, making enough to pay my rent, with utilities, and groceries. There’s not much left over, maybe enough for a movie and popcorn once a month. My roommate is constantly asking me to go out, to concerts, shows, movies and I just can’t. It’s starting to get me down.

How do I handle this?

Uneven expenses

Just talk to her. Explain your situation. Thank her for the constant invitations, but be honest that it’s starting to get you down. Then perhaps together you could plan a fun potluck BYOB house party. It’ll cost you something to host, but if you share the cost with your roommate, and everyone brings something, it shouldn’t be that much.

One of the teachers I work with at my school just got engaged. We’re pretty good friends and she invited me to the wedding. I was surprised but honoured and of course, RSVPed yes immediately.

But she didn’t invite her co-classroom teacher, which I find shocking. They’re friends and an amazing team, but for some reason, the bride didn’t want to mix business with pleasure.

None of it is my business, I know that, but I think she’s making a mistake purely for the sense of peace in her classroom for the rest of the year. Her teaching partner is really upset. Now she’s started talking to me about it because she thinks I also wasn’t invited. I didn’t have the heart to tell her I am.

I feel caught in the middle of someone else’s drama. What do I do?

Wedding woes

You make a good point about peace in the classroom. I would point that out to your friend, the bride. You say they get along really well and are a great team. That’s important, especially for the students. If it’s a numbers issue, you could offer up your invite. Doubtful she’ll accept but it might show her how strongly you feel about her inviting her teaching partner.

If the bride-to-be doesn’t know how to invite her “after-the -fact,” she can always say the invitation got lost in the mail, or fell out of the bag, or some such irrefutable excuse.

When it comes to inviting, if there’s a fragment of doubt that you should invite someone, just invite them. Numbers work out in the end.

FEEDBACK Regarding the woman scared to go camping alone with her boyfriend (Sept. 6):

Reader #1 – “Bite the bullet. If you trust your guy, and you both know what you’re doing, go and enjoy. You’ll really get to know whether he’s the right guy for you.”

Reader #2 – “I was young and in love, and I loved camping with my family and friends. My boyfriend asked me to go on a romantic camping trip for two. I wanted to invite friends. We went alone.

“He proposed to me after a hike at the top of a mountain in Killarney Park. He was not sure I would say yes so, he did not bring a ring. After my enthusiastic ‘yes,’ he wove a ring out of the long grasses beside us.

“I still have that grass ring 41 years later, and I’m still in love with my romantic hubby.”

Reader #3 – “My sister and I planned a camping trip with our boyfriends at the time. At the last minute, she cancelled. I was furious with her but didn’t want to cancel completely. I complained bitterly to my guy for the first 24 hours…. until he proposed and I understood the whole thing had been a ruse.”