My boyfriend and I went on a date night to a local mall where we planned on eating dinner and then catching a movie. The restaurant wasn’t fancy or romantic, but it wasn’t the food court either. We sat down, ordered a cocktail and started perusing the menu. Our waitress was sweet and friendly, and we liked her a lot.
Just as we placed our order, a group of young teenage boys came in and were placed at a table right next to ours. They weren’t overly rowdy or loud when they first sat down so we didn’t pay much attention. But as the time passed, we saw that they were starting to misbehave. One kept ordering drinks but then another would pour mustard in it, or salt, or whatever and the kid kept sending it back. They thought it was hilarious and would burst into loud guffaws. One even “fell” off his chair, rolling with laughter.
Our waitress was patient and had a sense of humour, but I started to feel badly for her. She was putting in a lot of effort for what we knew would be little joy. I didn’t see what they ordered, but they didn’t order more than one dish each, and I noticed one didn’t order anything at all!
They didn’t ruin our night, but they did put a damper on our dinner. Why would the restaurant accept these kids as diners, and why would they put them beside a couple clearly trying to enjoy a date?
Dinner Diners
Restaurants want to make money, first and foremost. Restaurants are often created to appeal to a certain clientele. But unless people who wish to come in are drunk, disorderly, improperly attired or causing a scene, most will accept any customer if there’s space.
As told to me by a highly respected and now (sadly) retired restauranteur, Rob Ecklove, “Ultimately the goal is to create a warm, inviting, positive experience with a great product – which hopefully results in a profitable business.” What I found so interesting is that he also explained that being nice to everyone is the way forward. You don’t know who these kids are, and if they have a good experience, perhaps they’ll tell their parents, who will then choose to eat at the restaurant with their friends. It’s karma, right?
A friend of mine is fighting with her boyfriend. She has told me the whole story, and I think she has legit reason to be upset with him. Of course, I don’t know his side of the story as he and I aren’t friends. I want to support her, and I do, completely, but now we’re supposed to go away for a weekend getaway, the two of them, myself and my boyfriend.
Am I supposed to pretend I don’t know anything? Or pretend I’m also not angry with him? Or, what? I’m confused and don’t know how to act!
Caught in the Middle
This isn’t your argument, so you need to get yourself out of the middle. Have a private talk with your friend before the trip. Ask her how things are going between her and her boyfriend and specifically, if they have resolved the issue they were fighting about.
Hopefully, she’ll say yes and tell you they’re in a better place. Then you can just slip everything you once knew into a pocket and forget about it. If she says no, that they are still fighting, perhaps this isn’t the weekend that you four should be going away.
However, I understand it may be too late to cancel, and if so, agree with her that you will feign ignorance to all that she’s told you, and be super friendly.
FEEDBACK Regarding the sister and her makeup (April 4):
Reader – “My sister and I are both over 55 years old. I am in business and she is not any longer. I colour my hair and she has chosen to go grey, which seriously ages her. I’m tempted to let her know that. I don’t.
“However, she chose to tell me that a certain eye pencil I use under my bottom eyelashes ages me. I was surprised to hear this as I get my top lashes extended, and the esthetician, who is a former Vogue model and a makeup expert, told me how flattering it is and she loves it every time she sees it. So, to each her own.
“I wonder about the sister who needs to tell her sister that something isn’t flattering. We have to be careful about what we say because who says we’re right? Your sister has a mirror. End of story.”