I'm 57, and fell in love with my son's future mother-in- law. I'm a recent widower of nine months; she's been separated for ten months. Any get-togethers we had were from her asking me out.

Does this kind of situation, of parents getting together through our kids (they're age 24) and getting married, ever a good idea?

She did come on to me sexually once when drunk and the next day was very embarrassed about it. Intercourse did not happen. But she still wants to be friends for the sake of the kids' relationship.

Should we ever go out again? I'm heartbroken right now, as we haven't seen each other in three weeks.

HEARTACHE

Slow down. Go easy on your heart and the engaged couples' reaction, by letting the friendship be paramount for now. Reassure this woman that she no longer needs to be embarrassed, and that you're happy to get to know her better over time.

Currently, your children are focused on their own romance and unlikely to appreciate or even understand what they'll see as competition for attention and a too-fast rush to declaring love.

While you two have the right to a future together if you choose, you are both still rebounding from an enormous life change. You may indeed have a strong attraction, but it's being fuelled by loneliness and insecurity at being alone.

If the friendship between you grows over time, you can then each tell your own adult child that this is happening, but for now their wedding plans are the priority.

For your readers' interest: I was married for 18 years to a computer addict. Initially, pre-Internet, there were chat boards; it was new and I joined my husband in the activity. All other hours he played games, but he'd also go out with friends, shopping, family time, etc. But it became more difficult to get him off the computer, and difficult to limit video games, TV, etc. for the kids.

But if they watched him play World of Warcraft, they'd "disturb" his game, and he'd yell at them. Yell, watch the kids get upset and go away hurt. A man in his 40's, intelligent and well-spoken acting like a small-minded ignoramous.

There was also computer poker, several dating sites, and chatting live. I never suspected anything. He got people to agree to meet him, but if they weren't attractive, he'd cancel on them. Simply put.... another game.

Fights ensued throughout our marriage. If I asked him to cut back computer time and spend time with me, you'd think I was asking the world. He missed so many events because he was in a tournament. People were shocked to learn I was married and that my boys had a dad. I was alone for a lot of years, all for the sake of the computer.

Had he looked up from the computer once in a while, he would've seen a great family waiting for him, loving him. He was a winner all along.

We're getting divorced. Our boys want nothing to do with him. Upon leaving, his first major purchase was a laptop. When we sold our home, I threw out six computers I didn't know we had.

He finally went to see a therapist. Too late. Even the therapist quit him because he couldn't see that he had an addiction.

Technology is wonderful. The world definitely needs it. But I'm happy to no longer be playing second fiddle to a machine.

My future mother-in-law won't attend my imminent wedding, nor will others close to her. She doesn't like me.

I've invited her to do wedding stuff with me and have dinners with her son and me. But she puts me down and makes me feel like I'm garbage.

Now, my fiancé and his mother aren't on speaking terms. I just wish his family knew me before they decided to hate me. What can I do?

Hurt

Do not allow yourself to feel "like garbage." You must show more self-confidence, and understand that this is THEIR problem of intolerance and ignorance. In time she may soften. Or not.

Your fiancé should tell his mother that he loves you, that he still loves her, and that you'd both like her in your life as a couple. But, if she chooses to be estranged from you two (and from any future grandchildren), so be it.