I recently started dating a woman around my age (she won't say); I'm 48. We've both never been married. I've been in many relationships. I'm assuming she's been in very few. It's been two and a half months. She's a clerk; I'm a high-school teacher.

She says she has stomach problems for which she's had various diagnostic tests, elimination diets, yoga, acupuncture, etc. Her digestion is poor, she feels very bloated, has lots of gas. Whenever I suggest something, she says, "Tried that, doesn't work."

Doctors tell her they can't find anything. She doesn't have Crohn's, Colitis, IBS, or cancer. She refrains from eating very much, and eats sensibly when we're together.

She's quite thin but not anorexic, and verified this when I asked her point blank. She's somewhat active with team sports and works out a little.

She's generous, agreeable, and presentable. But stiffens up at intimacy, seeming extremely tense. She does suffer from Raynaud's Syndrome (narrowing of blood vessels which reduces blood flow to the fingers and toes, and sometimes nose, ears, lips, and nipples).

She never initiates anything with me, and her kisses are dry and forced. She seems inexperienced or else I'm missing something. When I initiate talking about her health issues, she's passive about going to the next level to how she can help herself.

I've just about had it with this woman because of her lack of ambition for trying to get to the bottom of these health issues.

Next Move?

Drop your CSI-like investigation of her health issues and deal with the emotions between you two. These are still early days of dating, yet you're trying to probe, analyze, and "cure" anything that doesn't suit your idea of problem-free.

The important questions for now are these: Do you enjoy her company (when not pressing her for a fix-it plan)? Do you feel a connection that could develop? If so, woo her.... that's part of dating. Make her feel secure and accepted in your presence, instead of hounding her about her "issues." It's hard to relax with someone who's questioning you about personal matters.

Sure, you may be a great help to her in the future, by being more pro-active about her well being. But this is too much too soon.

My son, 18, recently broke up with his girlfriend. She'd asked me to help so I suggested he talk to her. He got mouthy and threw things at me. He came home late every night, then started staying away overnight.

My boyfriend texted him saying that if he wants to live here, there are rules and he can't talk to me like that any longer. My son's extremely abusive towards me, and blames me. I want him at home. I can't sleep or eat. I also suffer from a chronic condition and this worsens it.

Distraught

This relationship was clearly troubled before this "crisis" brought it to a head. Your boyfriend is right to back you up, but not by a dismissive text. He should invite your son to meet with both of you to talk about what the real problems are - wanting more independence, angry about your relationship, etc. - and to suggest family counselling for all of you to try a fresh approach.

If he refuses, look for some answers for yourselves. In Canada, the Association of Parents' Support Group of Ontario (Canada, Inc.) is designed to help parents deal with their misbehaving kids, usually teens. Research to find similar supports in your area.

My dad's 85, a healthy widower living elsewhere. His male friend knows all his business. When I couldn't understand his bank accounts, I had to call his friend (he set up the accounts... he yelled at me till I hung up.

He also calls my brother and demands things from him.

Should I let my father know how rude and inconsiderate he really is?

Wondering

If your father's mental state is healthy, he should know about his accounts without his friend having to be called. If his mental state is shaky, you and your brother need to discuss power of attorney with him.

This friendship is important to him, so proceed delicately. However, the friend's aggressive response is suspicious.... unless you and your brother made him feel accused.

Either way, your dad needs to understand that his affairs can't be in the hands of someone who won't talk to his children or answer basic questions.