My sister’s daughter is an active little girl and always has been. She plays many different sports and just seems to always be running around and sweating. She’s adorable and I love her!

The problem is that she has hit the tween years and is becoming pubescent. It’s not visible, as in, she’s not developing in obvious ways. However, it is detectable from a smell perspective. We recently went on a weekend trip together for one of her tournaments. I went along to keep my sister company. My niece didn’t shower, nor did my sister suggest she shower.

On our last day, prior to heading out for the banquet, I pulled my sister aside and said, “If you don’t throw your daughter in the shower, I will. She stinks!” My sister was surprised but complied. I could tell she was annoyed with me, so when we returned to the hotel, and her daughter was out with some of the other kids, I took her shirt and brought it close to my sister’s nose. Now she gets it, but she’s still annoyed.

Did I do something wrong?

Stinky Niece

Your intention was well meaning, but perhaps your method was a bit rough. I understand that you didn’t want to tell your niece that she smelled, and that you were trying to gently promote bathing. And I can see how after a few days, you may have been slightly repulsed and surprised at your sister’s nonchalance.

Could your sister have a weaker sense of smell than you? I know some people lost their acute sense of smell after COVID. There’s also something called “olfactory habituation” which means that those with whom we share a home and living space, their odours become familiar and we have a reduced sensitivity to it.

Hopefully, your sister will now be more aware, for her daughter’s sake, and more invested in her personal hygiene. You could also gift your niece some nice smelling products, such as an all-over body deodorant, or scented body wash.

My partner and I have recently moved in together and all is great except for one issue: my dog. He’s a medium-sized dog, about 35 lbs. and he’s six years old. So, he’s not a puppy and he’s not a senior. I love him and my partner loves him too.

However, my partner doesn’t know him as well as I do, understandably, and he’s always trying to give my dogs things that I’ve either never given him, or that I know are dangerous.

For example, I once caught him about to give my dog a few crumbs of a chocolate brownie. He thought he was being secretly sweet in hopes of winning over my dog. What he doesn’t know is that chocolate is extremely dangerous to dogs and can kill them. He’s since almost fed him a piece of raisin toast, some beef with onion, and a turkey bone.

How can I get it through to him that these are not good for my dog and instead of winning him over, he may put him under!

Furred Up

Yes, it is very important that you and your partner sit down with a list of DO NOT FEEDs for your dog, for the dog’s health and wellness. Chocolate is extremely toxic to dogs, even the smallest dose can do irreparable damage. Same with grapes/raisins, onions and salt. Cooked bones are too soft, and small pieces can break off and be ingested, which can cause internal damage.

I also strongly suggest that your partner join you on your next trip to the veterinarian, so he can hear from a professional, that your cares and concerns are not unfounded.

FEEDBACK Regarding holiday hubby (Dec. 9):
Reader – “When I read how this husband got so drunk at the Christmas season, since I grew up with a parent who was an alcoholic and then married one, it brought memories that at times, getting that drunk was acceptable for the occasion.

“I’ve come to the conclusion that some people think you can only enjoy a party if there is lots of drinking of alcohol. This should not happen today when we know so much about the terrible effects of getting inebriated.

“From my experience, you can only deal with the situation by total abstinence because expecting the heavy drinker to just have one drink is one drink too many.”

Reader #2 – “The woman married to the holiday drinker should leave the hubby at home and go to Christmas events on her own or with friends.  A call for breakup seems a bit extreme.”