My wife and I invited a couple over for lunch. We were asked “What should we bring?” I said, “beer.” Their daughter and a friend dropped them off as the couple both wanted to drink. They planned on picking them up around 5 p.m. For the first hour or so, I continuously offered them tall boy cans of imported beer that we had on hand for the occasion. Then we prepared lunch.

After lunch, they started drinking regular cans of beer which they had brought. They didn’t offer us any. He even took the remaining beer when they left.

At exactly 5 p.m., his daughter and friend arrived to pick them up. Instead of leaving, the two declared that they hadn’t had enough to eat and were hungry. Suddenly, it became our responsibility to find some quick food for them.

I am scratching my head whether this is normal behaviour when one gets invited to someone's home for lunch or dinner.

Poor Host?

Your description does sound a bit strange. Usually, when someone (host) invites someone else (guest) over, the host specifies the time and what will be served, for example, come at noon and we’ll serve lunch. A well-intentioned guest may ask what they can bring, which usually means to share with everyone, all other guests and hosts. Unless the event is specified as B.Y.O.B. (Bring Your Own Booze), which is understood to mean, bring what you would like to consume. Often the host will say there’s no need to bring anything other than yourselves, and just as often, the guest will still bring something like flowers, wine, cookies or chocolate. Still, it is meant to be shared.

These people took advantage of your hospitality by drinking your beers, and then refusing to share theirs. You had also agreed on an end time to your scheduled event, which was initially respected by their drivers, but then ignored in your guests’ (perhaps drunken stupor?) post-lunch fog.

I don’t think you’ll be inviting these people over any time soon. And if they reciprocate an invitation, don’t feel obligated to accept. But if you do, show them what real manners look like.

I have a friend whom I adore. However, she’s constantly turning small issues into massive arguments. It’s exhausting and I’m not sure how much longer I can ride her roller coaster. When she’s on form, she’s fun, funny, generous and we have the best times together. But when she misinterprets something you say or do, watch out! She goes on a rampage before you’ve had the opportunity to figure out what she’s referring to.

She became enraged with me once because she found a gift I had purchased, with a card that read, “I love you like a sister.” We had seen the sweater together and she knew I knew that she loved it. But I had purchased the pink sweater, and she hates to wear anything pink, which she also knows I know.

She went off on me that I obviously don’t care enough about her to remember what colours she likes and doesn’t like, blah, blah, blah. I had no idea where her tirade was coming from and was shocked. She ran to the bathroom crying, and I went into my room. That’s when I saw the gift on my bed – which I had bought for my sister who loves pink!

I think my friend has a screw loose. What do I do?

Irrational

Tell your friend to check her facts before reaching conclusions and reacting hysterically. Tell her that if she does that to you again, you’ll have no choice but to pause the friendship until she can get control of her intense reactions to assumptions she’s made.

FEEDBACK Regarding the anonymous auntie (Nov. 4):

Reader – “You should absolutely go! The aunt you knew as children is likely not the aunt you’ll meet.  What a great opportunity to get to hear her story.

“Be cautious, especially if she’s seeking some form of financial assistance. She may have simply hit a milestone age and now wants to know her extended family.  People do change.

“At 21, the letter writing siblings are entering adulthood, and should be aware of their family genetics.  By knowing your extended family, you’re better able to understand your health history.

“I met my great-aunt (grandmother’s sister) at about this age, and it opened a new world of family and health. I discovered a new and warm family of relatives and learned some valuable family genetic history.  I also learned an interesting bit of family history that my parents and grandparents were unwilling to tell me about.”