Dear Readers - Early 2020 can kick-start renewed determination to aim for your own personal best.

This positive energy can be applied to relationships with family, friends, and to your own self-image.

So, I’m encouraging us all to bring a fresh start to whatever matters most to you.

Readers’ Commentary Regarding “great expectations” during the holiday season (Dec. 17):

“Years ago, my then-boyfriend teased me about a surprise and I honestly thought it was an engagement ring.

“My parents also thought so. On Christmas Day, there was a ring box, containing 10 loose, tiny diamonds.

“It wasn’t a proposal. Turned out, he had made a bet with a colleague that he could buy diamonds for less than $20.

“Unsurprisingly, I was devastated and I broke up with him soon after.

“Luckily, he came to realize how hurtful that surprise was, and he proposed six months later with a proper ring, even though he wasn’t sure of my response.

“We’ve been happily married for 12 years, have two kids, and that incident is long forgotten.

“The advice you gave was very good, and I hope the writer took and didn’t get her hopes up.

“At the same time, she should make her future expectations of the relationship clear to her boyfriend.

“Sometimes, we’re all a little clueless, and may need help to realize what others are wanting and feeling.”

Ellie - Let’s hope that the woman who wrote that Dec. 17 letter about her hopes/expectations for an engagement ring and proposal, writes again to inform us all what happened.

Reader #2 – “Why do women put themselves into these situations where the man has all the power?

“I wonder if she has mistaken this as some form of romance?  It isn't romantic.  It’s the man having control over her future.

“Can she not have an open discussion with him regarding marriage?  If he is interested, they can move forward and if not, she can decide her next steps.

“He can still surprise her with the ring.

“My husband and I decided together to get married. We set the date and have been happily married for 27 years.  We hope our daughters follow in our footsteps.”

Signed, No-nonsense but Intensely Happy.

I'm a young, energetic, outgoing female with a great personality and a great sense of humor.

“I’m 69 years old going on 30 - lol.

“I’m searching for love with a long-term partner but no luck. I’ve been on dating sites but found a lot of scammers and men who play head-games.

“Fortunately, growing older comes with maturity and wisdom.

“Should I discontinue looking and let the Universe take over?

Lonely and Frustrated!!!

Read my 2020 boost of encouragement above. Yes, you do have wisdom and maturity and you don’t suffer fools.

So, don’t let the dating-site scammers get you down.

Get out to places where seniors go because of their interests - concerts, library talks, a film club, a walking group, try meetup.com (many interest options).

Invite friends over for coffee, or brunch (keep it simple and affordable) and include someone new each time. Hopefully, you’ll be invited back and your social world will grow. See below:

 

Readers’ Commentary “I was separated from my first wife of 20 years, during my early-40s.

“When I was 55, I met my now-spouse and we have been together for 12-plus years.

“Though I was alone for a number of years, it didn’t bother me. When I started to become lonely, I entered the dating market.

I was in a bakery-restaurant when a dishevelled, confused-looking man pushed past the line-up and said, “coffee.” The waitress said, “Not now.”

He left, and returned minutes later, again said “coffee.” A second waitress said, “Later.”

A woman in line said aloud, “I’ll buy him coffee and lunch.” I said I’d split it with her.

It was pre-Christmas and we felt it was the least we could do for this man who obviously needed several kinds of assistance.

However, the manager arrived and said he’d “handle” things. It turned out the man was a regular-in-need and the restaurant helps him on a daily basis.

Outside, I was almost run over by someone trying to park illegally in a spot reserved for disabled people. I pointed to the sign. The driver then swore at me.

How can some people be so heartless even in the season of giving?

Disheartened

Nurture your generous spirit, and maybe others will catch on.