I’m having a problem and need your take on this: My neighbour went away at the end of December for a few months and asked me to take care of her cat for the first two weeks until her house sitters arrived. I agreed but informed her that we were going away for three days mid-week. She said it wasn’t a problem and to just leave food and water.

My husband then informed me that I was mistaken, and our plan was to be away for five days. I was worried about the cat and unsure what to do. The owner had left by then, and none of our other friends were around to help.

While out with my walking partner, I mistakenly told her of my predicament. I was just talking it through with her, as we hadn’t even left yet. She then sent an email to the neighbour whose cat we were watching. Unbeknownst to either, my husband and I had decided that due to my mistake, we would return after three days as promised to the cat’s owner. And we didn’t share the predicament with the cat’s owner because we worked it out on our own with the cat’s needs in mind, and didn’t want to worry the neighbour while she was away.

However, my walking buddy’s email prompted the nastiest email I have ever received from the cat’s owner. She didn’t even double check the facts and just took what my walking buddy told her as gospel. No one has ever spoken to me that way, in print or in person.

I responded and explained that we were only going to be away for three nights, as previously mentioned to her. I also expressed my hurt and suggested she should check her facts before attacking people.

Of course, no apology came. Her house sitters arrived, the cat is fine and all is well. Except she’s coming home soon and I’m not sure what to expect.

Three days and Nine Lives

I wouldn’t expect anything. Hopefully, she’ll thank you for watching her cat for the two weeks you committed to. Maybe she’ll even bring you a token of gratitude (a gift from her travels). Or she’ll avoid you until you eventually bump into each other.

I don’t like having uncertainties like that hanging over me, so I would knock on her door a few days after she returns if she hasn’t approached you. With sincere kindness, I would ask her how her trip went and apologize for unnecessarily worrying her by accidentally discussing the issue with your mutual neighbour. Hopefully she’ll then apologize for her rude email and you two can move forward.

If she doesn’t, decide whether the friendship is worth keeping. It’s really up to you.

I have a great after-school job that I really enjoy. I’ve been working for the same person for over a year, and they have been very good to me. They pay me well, give me good hours and good jobs to do within the realm of the initial job description. But ever since we returned from Family Day weekend, something’s changed.

My employer is rude to me, barely engages me in conversation, gets angry when I can’t come at the times required, even though the hours have changed and infringe on my school hours. I don’t know what happened or what I should do.

After school confusion

If your employer is rude and/or aggressive towards you, make sure never to be alone with them. You can ask if everything is OK, but if there isn’t a good explanation for their change in attitude, I suggest leaving the job. Better to be safe and find other after school employment.

FEEDBACK Regarding men urinating in public (Jan. 15):

Reader – “I can't help wondering if, in some cases, it's the fault of their parents or caregivers when they were children.  Recently, I witnessed a mother taking her son over to a tree when there was a perfectly good washroom nearby in the park where they were playing. Would she have done that with a small daughter?”

FEEDBACK Regarding the woman who doesn’t know what to do about her co-worker, who’s sleeping with the engaged supervisor (Jan. 18):

Reader – “The loyalty is not really to either the supervisor or the manager. The loyalty is to the state of marriage and the promise of fidelity. I believe the person who wrote the letter should send an anonymous paper letter to the manager, stating that her fiancé is cheating on her. No woman should have to go into a marriage ignorant that her man is already cheating.”