I was involved with a woman and slowly building something special, since long distance (Denver-Chicago) relationships can be very trying. 

After a passionate meeting last summer in her town, I visited her again, and she recently visited me. Each time was fabulous... and all the while communicating daily, and exchanging gifts.

However, on her last evening here, she got inebriated, said she loved me, but was texting someone more noticeably as the evening progressed. She passed out in the cab, her cell phone buzzed and I expected to say hi to her best friend. Instead it was a romantic text from someone she recently met back in her hometown.

The next morning, we cuddled and discussed the problem. I realized the mistake in opening her phone and invading her privacy. She later wrote me from her hometown that I displayed my true character by violating her trust. She wants to discontinue contact for now and will get in touch with me when/if her feelings change.

I apologized, and am truly crushed. I want to send flowers/cards in the coming weeks again expressing my apologies and feelings hoping that time will allow her to open herself back up to me.

- Hurting in Chicago

This woman displayed her true character, and it wasn’t pretty. 

No, you shouldn’t have opened her phone, but in this case the temptation was VERY strong; her texting while out with a boyfriend she gets to see infrequently, was rude and bound to arouse your suspicions.

Her excessive drinking was a different clue: Either she just drinks too much (which is a negative consideration), or she was drinking too hide her own double-dealing (equally negative).

You’ve only known each other for a limited time, when until this incident, you were on best behaviour. Her true nature looks worrisome.

I suspect she’d been “shopping” for another connection closer to home, found someone, and was delighted when you made a mistake over which she could break up and focus on the closer target. Forget her.