Dear Readers - Here are some leftover questions from my live online chat of May 4, about the impact of lying on relationships:

What do you do when you've caught your significant other in many lies - smoking vs. not smoking, ego-boosting lies, lies about going to work but not going. I'm having a hard time trusting him after the first smoking lie was discovered, and finding more lies. How do I get past it and not question other areas of our relationship?

An addiction-lie is in a category of its own - he needs to want to quit for himself, and not need to lie.

But the ego-boost lies show insecurity; the work lies are plain deceit. The guy has problems.

I have a hard time trusting people. My partner knows how difficult this is for me, and how much more difficult his little lies make it. They make me question everything... when do you give in and believe, or give up and move on?

He should be trying harder to keep you. Tell him, one last time, you can't deal with lies. If he keeps lying, you leave.

My partner's twisted stories and lied to win fights. He admits to making up stories to get reactions from me. How do I trust him and make him see it's unhealthy and unfair?

He gets attention this way, so must've been doing it for years. Only he can change a pattern from childhood... with professional help. Stop reacting to his tall tales, tell him he may win, but he'll lose you if he doesn't learn how to change.

I've been with my girlfriend for four years, but I can't trust her. Is it worth staying with her?

Can you trust anyone? If not, this is more about you than her. If yes, do you have solid reasons why you can't trust this girlfriend? If yes - as in proof of cheating or major lies - no, it's not worth staying with her, as you'd live with tension and fights.

My younger sister was raped as a child and never told her husband. Nor has she dealt with the realities of our abusive childhood. She's now divorced and has dealt with severe health issues for years. I believe it's partially related to her holding all the bad stuff inside herself. She pretends life is perfect and lives a lie.

It's her right to live as she chooses. She fears the powerful emotions of facing the harsh reality of her past... even fears she won't be able to function. She needs a process of therapy to help her with this, but she has to decide she wants that, you can't just talk her into it.

From a relationship standpoint...what's the difference between lying and withholding?

Withholding is a way of avoiding emotional challenges, while lying is outright deceit. But the result is sometimes the same, as the person is putting up a wall that keeps you from getting close.

Some withholding is for strong reasons of hurt, even abuse, from the past. It can be understood and accepted a lot easier than lying, but over time it keeps a barrier between a couple, just as lying does.

Where is low cost therapy available? I have tried and everyone wants $190 per hour - which I do not have.

Excuses come cheap, but the cost of emotional problems that you refuse to try to resolve, is high. There are community agencies that provide counselling, with affordable fees. Some faith communities offer pastoral counselling.

I always trusted my relationships from the beginning of them, however, I've been burned by both serious flat-out lies, and little fibs, a few times.

So it is really really hard for me to not second-guess myself when I think I'm being lied to. The person I am with is always truthful and values open communication.

We had one misunderstanding which needed to be talked through, which showed why it was important to be honest with each other and forthright. However, I still have that nagging feeling that I'll be burned again - once bitten, twice shy. How do I get over it?

Look in the mirror and ask yourself if you see someone who'd push away an honest, committed partner who wants a relationship of trust. Especially if the push was because of doubts that have nothing to do with her/him. You'd be seeing a fool with little self-confidence. Surely that's not you.