My wife of 17 years and I have two daughters, 5 and 2. We both play sports, both have nights out with friends, do lots of fun things, have a great family life. Our only issue is SEX.
I always have to ask; she only wants me to be on top, won’t participate in oral sex for either of us, and I can’t touch her breasts. We talked with a sex therapist, discussed what we wanted from each other, and all agreed (including her) that this was her issue.
I know she loves our life together and me; we both make a good living, her body is great. When we do talk about sex, things get better for a while, and then revert back.
I don’t want to talk with another person, I just want a healthy sex life. We’re on the same page with every other aspect of life and our relationship….

- Frustrated

It may be her issue with regard to some sexual hang-ups, but it’s a couple’s issue with regard to time, effort and energy. You’re on the same page, but it’s a very crowded page!
Parenting two youngsters, working, scheduling all those activities and people… it’s keeping up that seems to be the family focus, rather than keeping connected to what brought you two together.
Your wife does need to talk to a counsellor alone about past attitudes or experiences regarding sex that are contributing to this problem. Together, you need to interrupt the activities merry-go-round long enough for cuddling, intimate talks, a regular “date night,” romantic gestures.
It takes more than hopping into bed to have a healthy sex life.

My husband and his father aren’t talking, and my teenage kids and I are heart-broken.
My wonderful mother-in-law passed away 18 months ago. We live 600 km away.
Six weeks after the funeral, my father-in-law, 73, announced he has a girlfriend. Three months later he announced he’s marrying her; she soon moved into his house. He said he cannot live alone and wants to share the rest of his life with her.
My husband feels his mom was betrayed; and that he never got a chance to grieve with his dad.
After spending holidays and every special occasion with my in-laws, it’s ended because my husband won’t meet the new girlfriend.
Grandpa simply says, “Get over it.” My kids and I miss him. My daughter and I visited them for a weekend, but found it emotionally difficult, though she’s a nice person and hospitable to us.
We understand how my husband feels, but we also want Grandpa to be happy. He’s postponed his wedding in hopes of gaining my husband’s blessing. He wants us to attend.
My husband is against our being there.

- Family Crisis

Your husband has turned his grieving into anger, and this dishonours his mother’s memory.
Hubby’s loss is completely different from his father’s - he has a family to help him deal with sadness and nostalgia, while his dad would otherwise be surrounded only by loneliness, anxiety, and an empty house. It’s not unusual for widowers who were in long, loving marriages to be needy of companionship right away; fortunately, he found someone nice.
Grandma was not “betrayed;” she’s gone, after a happy life together. Grandpa doesn’t owe his son a “shared” grief. All, through compromise, should revere your mother-in-law’s legacy of family harmony.
The wedding’s been postponed; Hubby should meet the girlfriend, and the whole family should attend the ceremony.

I believe my husband of three years lies to me about smoking marijuana. He was addicted, but said he stopped before we met.
I’ve found wrappers, his bags reek, yet he denies it. He texted his friend for “a pinch, my stash is dry and my guy got booked,” but claims he was talking about money.
I found a backpack full of porn, but he denied knowing where it came from.
He says I never trusted him. But unless I find proof, he’ll deny all. It’s ruining our marriage.
I can’t forgive him, and he shows no remorse.

- Unresolved

You both know he’s lying so decide what you can live with: Are his habits interfering with his functioning as a husband, or a lover, or as a partner in the household?
If there’s a YES, you need an open discussion. Two Yes’s, and you need to get marriage counselling.