We met at 16, in high school; everything seemed to be going great until she abruptly ended it, dropped out of high school and started dating another guy.
She got pregnant at 18 (he was 16). Her parents decided they should marry, which they hastily did. After that, her parents kicked her out.
Today, she’s unemployed, constantly looking on dating sites for a rich guy to save her and her daughter, age 3. Her husband got a steady job, but they live paycheck to paycheck.
I had feelings for her still, so once we met again, we fell madly in love. Her parents had liked me and weren’t opposed to the affair providing that I signed her up for correspondence school and that we eventually make it official.
Fourteen months later, she won’t study her correspondence courses, so I’ve decided we should keep it a friendship for now.
I work, got a new apartment, finished diploma courses in fitness and nutrition, and have a career plan. I still care for her but don’t know where this is going.
She claims she wants to leave him but has nowhere to go.
I said that we should just be friends but she calls everyday and gets mad or guilt-trips me if I don’t spend time with her. I’m sick of it.

- Fed Up

It’s going nowhere; meantime, you have your own future ahead.
You don’t owe her anything other than friendship, especially since she’s doing nothing to improve her own life, and casting about for other men as “rescuers.” Sure, it’s hard to be a single mom so young, but she can be making better choices.
Encourage her when you can, but put some distance between you or she’ll drag you down. If you’re “sick of it,” you’re no longer in love, so don’t get guilt-tripped by her neediness.

My parents have been together for 17 years.
Ever since my mom got a new job two years ago, things have changed. She’s increasingly bitter at everyone, especially my dad. I can’t stand watching them fight.
Three months ago, when my mom’s mother suddenly fell ill and died, Mom pushed all of us away, and wouldn’t let us help. I think she’s in a midlife crisis.
Soon after, she said she “can’t get along with (my dad)” anymore.
I have three younger siblings, and can’t stand the idea that my parents might split up. I dislike their constant bickering, but I want them both to be happy.
My dad thinks it’ll pass, but I’m not convinced.
What do I do?

- Fearing Divorce

You’re not responsible for your parents’ marriage, and building fears will NOT ease the situation for you or them. Try to get along with your mom, as she’s obviously going through a hard time – it may be midlife anxieties, which are commonly sparked by losing a parent; or, in tough economic times, her job may be unsatisfying, overwhelming, etc. These are your parents’ issues to deal with.
Dad (not you) should be encouraging Mom to get a medical check-up to deal with, or rule out, any contributing health factors; they should be going to marriage counselling.
Your job is to focus on your education; stay busy with healthy activities such as sports, music, volunteering; and help out at home, and with your siblings, whenever possible.
Many married couples survive a period of conflict. Stay hopeful and don’t overreact to everything you hear, some are just throwaway comments in the moment.

Over five years as friends, we were always changing our plans to accommodate one girl; she’s self-centered, and unwilling to compromise.
Recently, she insulted me, and I bolted. She hasn’t tried to contact me or called back any of our friends. She’s been making plans with other people, as if she’s replacing us.
She’s always had trouble keeping friends - she suddenly gets bored and takes off. However, I can’t let this go and want her to know how I feel.
Is writing her a letter a good idea?

- Hurt

No. She’s too self-absorbed and immature to feel remorse. She’d likely show the letter to her new gang, as a way of getting closer with them – something that could embarrass you in a wider circle.
Take your own lesson from this: When someone demands everything be her/his way only, it’s not a real friendship. Better to be distant than used.