My girlfriend of three years and I have been living together for over a year. Recently, she said she needs a break because she needs to find herself and have fun while she's still young.

She says we never go out or do anything. Lately, she's been sneaking around to spend time with other guys.

I've explained that we don't have the money to go out. Also, between early classes and late nights working, neither of us has energy for a night out.

I've offered to do more together, and go out for drinks with her and her friends like she's suggested, even though I don't drink.

Still, she insists it won't work and will not try. I find it unreasonable to not give our relationship a chance when she says she still loves me. Should I let her go or try and convince her to stay?

Uncertain

You've tried, she's unconvinced, and she's going.

She may still love you, but she's not in love with you and, more specifically, she's not happy with the life you two can have right now. But that's not something you can or should change. You're on different planes right now.

YOU, wisely, have your eye on the long-term - in education, future planning, practical living, as well as your romantic goal to stay with her.

SHE is distracted by the short-term - restless about the limits that come with school, work, and a committed relationship.

In time, she may realize she had the best in you. But for now, it's best to part, rather than have her stay and become more restless, reckless, and resentful.

I'm married for more than two years to a wonderful man I love dearly. We've had trouble conceiving a healthy child. Our first had been diagnosed with a severe defect and would have died immediately after birth so we chose to end the pregnancy. Next, I miscarried.

I required fertility treatments in order to get pregnant both times, resulting in a lot of weight gain.

My mother-in-law constantly makes very inappropriate comments about weight, often in front of others. She has no filter regarding emotional matters.

When we told my in-laws about the first baby, she immediately said, "This isn't from our side," despite the experts' opinions that it was just a fluke.

I've recently lost 60 pounds, before trying to conceive again. Now she's started to make comments in front of the whole family, asking my husband how far along he is because he has a bit of a tummy. It hurts us both.

When my husband told her of our miscarriage, she began telling us how his cousin is pregnant again. I'm at a loss to tell her how insensitive she can be, as well as hurtful.

She needs to think before she speaks in a kind, respectful way without causing a problem. I really like her; I just want to make her aware of her unkind words.

Unfiltered

The fact that you like her means she has other decent qualities. So it's possible her lack of sensitivity reflects her feeling badly for you and having no idea how to express it.

Her son needs to talk to her and say how hard this difficulty conceiving, and these two losses, were for you, and how much you both want and need her support.

He can suggest she read about the topics of infertility and miscarriage to understand what you're going through, including the roller-coaster with weight, which you're enduring to conceive a healthy child.

FEEDBACK Regarding repeated questions from your readers that show the need for a solution to the perennial conflicts that arise from multiple-family, and blended family gatherings, plus in-law demands, at holiday times important to all involved:

Reader - "My children of divorce, all with spouses, some of whom also have divorced parents, found this to be a perfect solution, especially for Christmas and Thanksgiving - we call it "ThanksMass."

"We pick a day for celebrating together, which is our own choosing, and convenient to all. There are lots of days between either American or Canadian Thanksgiving and Christmas to choose.

"If the kids can't come on a particular day, choose a day good for all. If they can't agree to any day, then they don't want to be there.

"You will be taking the high road to solving the dilemma and not making the families play tug of war."