Dear Readers - There's no topic like sex to bring out hot debate... though too rarely do couples have that talk together. Here are some leftover questions and comments from my live chat of June 8:

I work the opposite hours of my husband, so we hardly see each other. After a day of working and looking after our children, I'm tired and not very "in the mood". My husband doesn't understand, and seems to think my lack of interest is a slight against him, which it's not. How do I explain to him so that he'll understand?

Don't bother "explaining." Instead, talk about how you can both work as hard at your unequal situation as you do at your jobs and tasks. Marriages need sex/love/bonding, so figure out what can change. Of course he's feeling slighted, wouldn't you if things were in reverse and he was always "too tired" when you wanted sex?

My boyfriend has premature ejaculation, and it really gets in the way of our sexual life. How do I work with it? My sex life is very important for me, and consists of a big part of my relationship. Should I break up with him if this problem keeps bothering me?

Since you both acknowledge the problem, encourage him to see a doctor. He can get help for this problem but first must find out why it's happening. When you're as interested in his well being as you are in your sex life, it'll improve the relationship all around.

What's the best way to let a man know I'm still a virgin? How soon is it appropriate to bring it up?

The best way to communicate is straightforward, as in, "I'm a virgin." This isn't first-date chat, nor do you owe the guy an "explanation" for not wanting to hop into bed on the second date either.

Once you're starting to see him regularly, it's time to speak up. Be VERY clear whether this is about being "a virgin, so far" or "staying a virgin until marriage."

I'm crazy about my boyfriend but just don't want to stay home every night fooling around, which we did when we first met. I want to go out, hang with our friends together, play tennis, etc. So sex a couple of times a week is enough, I think, so we can also have a normal life doing other things. But now we're fighting about this a lot.

Stop fighting, have sex, then go out. Do this a few times, so he gets the picture that there's sex, and there's also life, friends, etc. He's used to his own super-charged male libido, and has to learn that a relationship is about the whole picture of being together. Otherwise, he'll end up alone again.

I'm 40; we have two young kids. My husband has less sex drive than me. I'd like to talk to him about this and what I like in bed, but he's seen this as criticism of his "manliness," which has taken a hit since he lost his job. How do I find a way to talk about what I need without insulting him?

His needs for comfort and ego stroking are greater than yours right now. Help him through this and he'll be grateful and more loving, which may help improve his desire. Do NOT criticize. Encourage more physical activity outdoors together, to build his energy and fitness. Be loving, cuddling, and un-demanding regarding sex.

My wife won't do things to make our sex life more interesting. She knows only one way/position, and often seems bored with that! But when I make suggestions, she reacts like I'm asking her to be a porn star.

She has fears, and blocks. Get sex therapy together, which can open both your minds. Suggest this as a team approach, not as you teaching her to learn new tricks.

My wife of 25 years stopped having sex with me, saying only that she's "done." We're late-40s. I'm unwilling to live the rest of my life without sex. She's talking about separate bedrooms when our second child goes to college. What am I supposed to do... find a mistress? She won't have that talk, I'm sure.

But she will see a doctor if you show worry that she may be experiencing hormonal changes that are about her health, not just about your sexual needs.