My girlfriend of six years and I have a gifted one-year-old. My girlfriend has a home-based business, and my career is really taking off. Finding time for the three of us to do something has become very difficult. Any suggestions?

Starved for Time

Set aside one weekend day for the family. Even a home-based business is entitled to have one day when it's not "open." If necessary, you two should hire a baby-sitter for several hours weekly, so she can work while the baby's looked after. That means that even if you take over childcare one weekend day, the other is left free for all three of you to be together.

Your career will also do better if you learn how to take a break from pressure and re-charge your emotional energy.

A gifted child is challenging and so is setting up a life of balance, but both are as much priorities as your work life.

Workaholics, who don't spend time with their families and don't do ordinary things like going to the park together, lose the common touch that's needed to communicate with clients and colleagues and manage employees.

Start this practice now, while the child is so young, as it'll become more and more important as he/she grows.

I've been invited (with a "guest") to the wedding of a friend's daughter, but haven't attended a wedding for many years.

After the ceremony, there'll be a cocktail reception, dinner, and dancing for 200-plus people.

I invited a lady friend as my guest. We're both retired. What's the protocol concerning a wedding gift for the bride and groom (late-20s)? The bride's parents don't know my guest, so the gift will only be from me.

I cannot think of a gift that would be appropriate. Various website sources say it can be given up to a year later.

Unsure

You do have some time, but sooner is always better than later. You can find out if the bridal couple is registered for gifts anywhere (ask the bride's parents) and choose something from their selection at a price you can afford.

Or a cheque is always welcome by young people starting out or saving for their future. Only spend what you can truly afford, but the sum of a dinner/dance out for two is sometimes considered an informal rule of thumb (say $150?).... unless you just can't manage that amount.

The people who invited you know your circumstances, so won't be expecting something way beyond your means.

I'm 32 and have never been very sexually active because of esteem issues. If I were to date, how could I overcome the hurdle of not being skilled or confident? Because of our social dynamic, am I a lost cause?

Inexperienced

Lots of people are "late bloomers" in the world of social interaction. Your esteem issues are important to everything in your life - emotionally and even health-wise. So deal with these before you worry about your sexual skills.

A skilled therapist will help you look at where your insecurities come from, how to manage them, and even surmount them as you develop insights, understanding, and greater confidence.

There are self-help books about how to enjoy sex, but it's essential to first find an understanding and sensitive partner who doesn't pressure you, and whom you trust.

You are far from a "lost cause." You just need to make yourself your own "cause" by getting pro-active about seeking more confidence and self-esteem.

FEEDBACK Regarding the parents of the young man whose grandparents spoil him (June 9):

Reader - "It's imperative that the grandparents understand they're preventing the boy from growing up. They're doing him no favour by giving him money and denying any problems.

"While it'd be ideal if he admitted to them that he lied, this probably won't happen. The parents should tell them.

"Sometimes parents have problems saying "no" to their children. However, once all parties realize that children need to learn to take responsibility for their own lives, they are well on their way to helping their children to become productive adults.

"I have many friends who never had problems with their children; but for us, the challenges we've faced with a head-strong daughter have made us better parents."

Thanks for sharing your experience and wisdom. Parent support groups exist in many communities, and can help when facing these challenges.