Here's Part Two of questions and comments from the Thinking About Divorce live chat, Sept. 14:

Been married three years, thinking of separating. We own a house together. I've been paying it down (she hasn't contributed towards the mortgage since the down-payment, which she contributed 30% towards). Does she get half the equity of the house, despite not contributing towards the mortgage, or is she simply entitled to what she's contributed?

If you're serious about separating, you need to be serious about getting informed financially and legally about what's involved. There are laws and actuarial formulas that cover the division of marital property... it's not about attitude or fault.

In Ontario, the Family Law Information Program (FLIP) is a free online resource for families, former spouses, and partners entering the family justice system. The goal of the program is to help people make informed decisions about legal and emotional issues that commonly arise at the ending of a relationship.

My wife and I are "separated" (still cohabitating albeit in different rooms) after seven years of marriage and her infidelity. I've given her the option of reconciliation for months on end, but get mixed messages from her... I don't know whether to wait it out (I still love her) or if it's best to file for divorce. How do you know if it's the right time?

Get to counseling together in order to help you both decide whether to try to make the marriage work. She'll need to be willing to talk about her infidelity - not the graphic details, but the reasons she believes prompted it. You'll need to be able to get past the fact of her affair and feel some understanding for why it happened and how you two can move forward.

I'm 27, seriously dating a divorced man. He's already been through engagement, wedding plans, honeymoon, etc. I'm worried it'll all be boring to him, and diminish my happiness.

He wouldn't be planning a future with you if he were not feeling fresh and excited anew.

Comment - My parents divorced when I was a child. My sister's currently in a divorce mess identical to our parents' - angry and bitter. From both cases I've learned that it's your children who should come first.

You don't necessarily need to stay in an unhappy situation for your kids, but you need to put your anger and bitterness aside, and put your kids' best interest at the forefront of your "battle." While your marriage may be over, your responsibility as a parent is not. That often gets lost in the emotions of a divorce.

My husband and I have been separated one year. He's been living with some friends. We still talk, hang out, and recently get along so well. He comes over, is all touchy-feely, calls me, and seems happy around me.

We have two main issues: 1) He had an affair. It's been over for a year. 2) He doesn't think he believes in marriage. We have two small kids. Is this something you think is worth trying to save? Or should I just move on?

It's always worth trying to save family life, especially if you two get along. But you need more information about how he hopes to stay close with you, while unmarried... is this a bid to have affairs when he chooses? Can you live with this? Does he want to come back home but live separate lives? Find out, and then you'll know what you can accept and what you can't.

My wife and I have been going through a tough time. Her close girlfriend's separating from her husband and she's constantly emailing my wife with progress reports, as if to justify her actions. I get the feeling she's also trying to drag our marriage down with hers.

How do I politely tell her to leave us alone and never contact anyone in my family again? I'm willing to hire a lawyer to send her a legal note.

Don't put yourself in the image this woman likely sees all men right now... hostile, difficult, controlling. It's fuel for her trying to fire up your wife as company during separation proceedings.

Instead, you'll be more likely to thwart her efforts by being close to your wife, spending more time with her, commiserating with her about her friend's unhappiness, and pointing out how much luckier and happier you two are as a couple.