The only thing my fiancé and I don’t communicate about is HIS parents and how they run his life! He’s 20 and still has a curfew. I understand that he should follow SOME house guidelines, but NOT rules! 

He recently got a job but his father told him to apply at another place, like his job wasn’t enough. Their oldest son (also living at home) recently graduated from college and wasn’t required to get a job because he was still taking classes.

I cannot convince my fiancé to stand up for himself. We can’t see each other without planning ahead at least a day.

They don’t know we’re engaged because we don’t want their criticism about how young we are, or them trying to control our wedding.

I need someone advising him how to work WITH his parents instead of against them, as that’s what he feels is I’m doing.

- Agitated in Rapid City, South Dakota

He can only work with his parents if YOU back off. 

Yes, while he lives at home, it’s their rules that apply. He can negotiate for adjustments… but it’ll be hard for them to take him seriously, when they eventually discover that you two are sneakily planning a wedding without them.

Unless you’re both sure you have enough real justification to be so hurtful/insulting, you should re-consider, and discuss the future with them, like adults.

I’m 17, dating my first boyfriend for 18 months. We fight so much but I can’t let go of him. 

We went on a break six months ago and got back together so many times. But he’d break up with me within a day, and talk to this other girl about it all. She’s OBSESSED with him. I hated it.

Once, when he asked me out again, I said, no. I wanted him to experience getting turned down. That night he asked that girl to hang out, which they did all weekend. When I found out, I was so upset and raced to his house. He wouldn’t let me in, I was crying, begging for him back and he just made me leave.

Later, I learned that they made out. The next day he said he regretted it; he loved me and wants me. But he wouldn’t tell her and he dumped me for wanting him to tell her. Then he begged for me back and I took him.

Months later, she’s been texting him, flirting and I told him I was done, unless he told her off. He did.

Recently I learned that he was talking to one of her friends, kept asking about her. He thinks it’s wrong that I don’t let him talk to her or I’ll leave him. Is it?

Lately, he’s constantly out at parties. We used to hang out everyday and now just once a week, he’s too busy partying.

- Need Help

Two top reasons for breaking up with this guy: 1) he’s fickle, and more into partying than concerned about you; 2) you’re more into not losing him, than looking after yourself. 

You’ve been chasing after and accepting a crummy relationship that’s no longer much fun – which is no way to enjoy being 17.

Now that you’ve had a boyfriend, you know better what you want next time… and it’s NOT to be yanked around like this, and deal with (and create) constant drama.

Having to tell your “boyfriend” who he cannot speak to, is so junior high, don’t you think?

My mother was in a bad situation, so my husband invited her to stay, but accept our house rules (she tends to meddle). 

I have an autistic son, 14, and a daughter, 3. My mom knows nothing about autism, but thinks she has a doctorate! She won’t stop criticizing me or the way I do things for him.

I’m stressed out but can’t say anything because we butt heads.

I saw your show Outlaw In-Laws; we could so use your help!!

- Desperate in Chesapeake, Virginia

Try to get your mom on your team. She could be a help to you, if YOU help her understand autism. 

Take her to a meeting of your local association for parents of autistic kids; show her the research you’ve studied, and share what the experts have advised you to do.

By expecting her to know nothing, she’s left with no way to contribute.