My boyfriend and I (two years, on and off) recently reunited. He's considering a new business venture, backing a great yoga teacher. She's expressed her gratitude effusively, often stating that she loves him. She calls him "Honey" and says she misses him, when corresponding.

He says it's all in friendship, but I've expressed misgivings. I think her gratitude will lead to love. While I trust my boyfriend, and he never responds to her comments, I believe that allows her to build her feelings for him.

We both agree that I'm not the jealous type so there must be something to my woman's intuition. He says I should become better friends with her and that he'll always refrain from doing anything other than business. But I believe it'll be difficult as businesses consume a lot of time.

I'd like to ask her to create boundaries so we don't have issues, but I'd look like the bad guy.

Need a Plan

Your boyfriend should be reassuring you that he will set the boundaries. It's simple: He says that, as she knows, he's in a relationship, and they're business partners, so it's not appropriate for her to say she loves him.

He's right that you should be included sometimes, e.g. join them after one of their business meetings... but not become close friends. Both of you need to see her as an associate - with legal and financial connections to him. Draw the lines NOW, and there'll be less to worry about.

My longtime close friend (now in our early 20s) takes EVERYTHING personally, and has negative ways of coping with her feelings.

It seems I always say or do something that offends her and she shuts down. Recently, she refused to speak to me because I was beating her at a card game. I didn't hear from her for several days.

On her birthday, she had a party, with over 30 guests. I'd been ill, became sicker there, and had to leave. She cried and stamped her feet, saying I was ruining her birthday and she couldn't believe how inconsiderate I was. Days later, she acted like nothing had happened!

She almost certainly has Major Depressive Disorder. She's rarely in a good mood, engages in self-harming behaviours (cutting) when things don't go her way, and refuses to seek professional help, despite that many people have suggested it.

She has similar relationships with others, too. I feel that I am no longer being a good friend to her because I'm exasperated and feel no affection towards her. But I don't know how to end this friendship without causing her too much pain (self-pity).

Frustrated

Focus on how seriously disturbed this friend is, and tell her how much you care about her and believe she can be happier if she gets help coping with her moods.

Do NOT diagnose her, as you did here, but do show her the resources to which she can turn. There will be a local distress phone line you can find for her, counselling through student services if she's still at school like you, her own family doctor who can refer her to a behaviour specialist, etc.

You can cool the constancy of contact with her, but do check in with her periodically, to see how she's doing. Since you've known her a long time, consider talking to her parents as well, especially if you think the self-harming behaviours and depressive moods are increasing.

My husband and I have had a great group of friends for years. We get together often and have celebrated many momentous occasions together. Recently, one friend's daughter was married.

My husband and I were shocked and hurt to be seated at a table with people whom we'd never met (though lovely people). I didn't say anything at the wedding, and have been unable to get an answer from the bride's mother as to why it happened. Now I feel somewhat uncomfortable at our get-togethers. How do I get past this?

Hurt

Holding onto this "hurt" is counter-productive to enjoying your group of friends. Wedding seating is often a difficult puzzle to arrange. Sometimes the people placed with "strangers" are the ones considered most gracious and welcoming... it may've actually been a compliment to you! Let your friend know that you're past this, even by saying how lovely those people were. And drop it.