Well, the Turkey Dump happened to me on Canadian Thanksgiving (Oct. 8) and I can’t get over it.

Just like everyone predicted, we both went off to different universities – after two years of being high-school sweethearts – and he broke up with me just before my family’s big turkey dinner.

I’ve hardly eaten since, and can’t sleep. I’m skipping some classes to avoid nodding off and am telling my dorm mates I’m ill in my room, rather than face their questions.

No Thanksgiving

Breakups like this are common because they’re almost a natural transition. Being away at university is a time for expanding many former boundaries.

Both you and your ex can now absorb this personal growth independently. A long-distance relationship would limit your time and ability to get to know new people, including guys, from different places and backgrounds.

Time will eventually tell whether there’s a chance for a different, more mature relationship between you two.

Meanwhile, do NOT hide and skip classes. Broadening your education and boosting your self-image by accepting this breakup are the keys to your having a great year, and moving forward.

I’m going through an acrimonious separation. My ex ended a 25-year marriage with an affair to a younger, married woman.

My son, 18, was living with me until I prohibited his girlfriend sleeping over. He also totalled my car after driving it without my permission.

He’s now living with his father (and lover), is allowed access to his car, and his girlfriend can stay over.

My son is now away at university but returns on weekends to sleep with his girlfriend. He’s asked me to stay out of his life, and then contacts me for money.

I disagree with his choices. He now mimics his father's actions, uses hurtful and abusive words, is very disrespectful. I’m re-traumatized all over again.

I’d like to keep him at a healthy distance as I try to recover. I invited him to a recent family gathering, as my family members want their relationship with him.

But I was very anxious and uncomfortable, as I cannot trust him. I’m suspicious of his questions as he enters the house in my absence to secretly remove items, making the distribution of marital assets unfair.

After his car accident (last straw), I was overwhelmed and admitted into hospital for mental health issues. He agrees with his father that I’m faking it or had issues all along.

I’d ensured that he was able to attend university this year by determining that he could upgrade through summer school, I applied for government loans, and paid his residence deposit. Yet I’m seen as a nag.

How do I “stay out of his life,” yet provide my share of his university costs without animosity? Is it possible to re-create or heal this relationship?

Son’s Betrayal

You’re going through a tough time… and he’s also experiencing this “acrimonious separation.”

It’s not unusual that he currently identifies more with his father. Also, he needs his girlfriend at this time - someone solely interested in him.

I believe that helping children (even difficult children) get education is part of parental responsibility, to whatever level it’s affordable.

So determine what you can pay and set the terms, e.g. only putting money in his account when fees are due. Keep other contact minimal, until you feel stronger. If he keeps taking things, change the house locks, and explain why. And periodically tell him you’re still his mother and love him.

A very close friend won a gigantic lottery. I own my own home, have a family, good job, but still live paycheck to paycheck.

Every time I mention anything – in normal friend conversation - they offer to pay for this or that.

I’ve said I don't want money, but it still happens. Also, I’m finding it difficult to relate to them. I’m not jealous but struggling to find common ground after many changes (personality, means, living conditions, attitude, outlooks, etc.)

How do I say I don’t want offerings of small financial assistance and that it makes me feel cheap?

No Jackpot Here

If YOU’d won a jackpot, you’d change some things too. Anyone would. And they can only hope that friends still relate.

Meanwhile, they’re trying to be generous so you don’t lose the friendship. So STOP mentioning your finances in any way.

If the differences get too big for comfort, see them less.