Young women aren’t the only ones being ghosted! It happened to me, at 61!
I’d met, what I thought, was a great man, 63. We both look at least 10 years younger, are both successful and accomplished.
We face-timed every night for at least two hours, with so much in common. He visited me several times and the connection was mutually amazing.
One Sunday he came by and later, we had a wonderful, very passionate embrace in the driveway. Yes, we had been intimate a few times.
After that, he just disappeared. No response on phone or email.
It’s shocking for a professional senior executive in a major institution to use a woman, fool her, play with her emotions and not have the courage to be honest and provide closure.
I actually thought that he may’ve died. I checked obituaries too!
All I can say is “Shame on you!” What happened to the male species?
Ghosted and Disgusted
Your letter followed a similar account from a woman, late-30s, who was swept off her feet for six whirlwind days of romance and intimacy, then ghosted (July 18).
Age is definitely not a deterrent, nor is gender, when someone wants to just “play you,” and run… or there’s some other motivator for this cold, rude, cowardly action.
The heartless senior executive may’ve been a married man whose wife was “at the cottage,” or a regular player who gets away with what he can on occasional “breaks” from the rest of his life.
You’ll likely never know the true reason.
But don’t pin the blame on the whole gender, any more than you can blame all senior executives!
Readers’ Commentary Regarding your response to the father of twin twenty-somethings who want to fly to the United States (July 17):
“I was shocked that you condoned their plan, given the high virus risks from flying, being with their American significant others and returning to their parents’ house.
“Please revisit your response.
“Responsible Canadian young people aren't just out to protect themselves, they’re protecting those more vulnerable like their parents who may also live with grandparents.
“I usually find your responses “spot on.”
“These are moments when we can teach people about responsible behaviour during the pandemic.”
Ellie - Thanks for your concern.
The main thing I suggested, was that the two young adults do proper research to “make an informed decision with experts’ input based on science and data,” so it wasn’t just a father vs. adult-children battle, but a mature study of the facts.
The father noted that they’d saved enough money to pay their own way.
They were strongly motivated to see the romantic partners they’d lived with at Universities.
If their father just put his foot down, made threats, etc., it would’ve taught them nothing.
If, however, he insisted that they research and discuss all that is known currently about transmission of Covid-19, then they’d learn how the virus travels, and why masks, social distancing, and frequent hand-washing are the best known preventatives of infection until there’s a vaccine.
They’d also learn that those precautions have largely been ignored in many American states that opened up too early, allowed crowd scenes, and led to rising numbers of both infections and deaths.
I’ll now add, thanks to you, that if they still travel south, they must be quarantined for two weeks, on their return (not with their parents, but in a rental space which they should also pay for themselves).
FEEDBACK Regarding the letter-writer’s concerns about a friend who has sex “with any guy, even ones she doesn’t like.” (July 15):
Reader – “It’s possible that her friend was sexually abused on a regular basis as a child. Her behaviour seems to indicate that.
“I was sexually abused. One major result was that I didn’t feel I had any right to control what happened to my body.
“When someone wanted to have sex with me, I didn’t feel the right to say no.
“Regular therapy may or may not be effective. I’d recommend something called REM (Rapid Eye Movement Therapy). It was developed in California as a treatment for PTSD mainly aimed at Vietnam Veterans.
“It has big advantages, as it’s fast (I went for eight visits) and it effectively wraps the memories in protective images.
“You don’t forget what happened, but you can put them outside of your memory of who you are.”
Tip of the day:
Ghosting is a cowardly act by someone not worth your time. Never feel that it’s your fault.