I’m a female, 20, who was supposed to work at a summer camp in another province, along with two friends.
Instead, I’m stuck in the city living with my parents and my grandmother whose health is shaky. Jobs that don’t expose you to lots of people are few. My parents are strict about pandemic rules.
But I’m so bored! I finally went for a walk after dinner and hooked up with a guy from school. We made out, no sex. It was fun and I was glad I did it.
The next week, I went for another nighttime walk with a girlfriend and two of her guy friends. We hooked up and made out at the park.
I do feel guilty now, health-wise. I shower right away when I return, and don’t see anyone till the next day. Am I still risking my grandmother?
Bored but Scared
Yes, you’re risking everyone including yourself. It’s unlikely you knew with who those two guys also had hookups, and how recently.
Since the coronavirus travels easily through close contact - e.g. no mask - a shower later on doesn’t protect you, nor those in your household if you get sick.
Many people are bored, young and old alike. But you can do something about it that isn’t so reckless.
You can regularly connect with friends through video chats, and also meet new people online.
It’s an opportunity to share your common interests, watch the same streamed movies from separate locales and discuss them, get fitter through free online classes.
You can also enjoy the gift of time - e.g. to ask questions that help you know if someone you meet online is someone you can trust and want to date in person when it’s safe to do so.
My sister-in-law is controlling and manipulative. She’s led my brother to not talk to our parents, though they live under the same roof.
They must cook and eat on their own, while my sister-in-law cooks and dines separately with her husband and children.
There’ve been numerous incidents of my parents’ money gone missing. My brother says our father told us to “keep quiet." He even blamed our dad, saying that he should’ve let my brother guard his money.
Most frustrating is that their car was paid by me, my parents, and my sister. We all contributed but my brother, who paid nothing, keeps it.
My dad has to get a taxi or call my husband to take him somewhere.
The house they’re living in, was jointly bought by me, my parents, and my sister. The title is under the names of me, my sister and my brother, who’s privately earning money by renting space out to strangers.
His wife screams and nags at our parents. Their neighbours say they can hear her scolding them.
I could threaten them with my share in their house and lot, but I don't know if anything will change.
Desperately Upset Daughter
Your concerns call for an official investigation of whether your parents are being emotionally and verbally abused.
Also, the legal situation of your brother, who’s only one of three names on title, benefitting himself by renting out space in the house and also isolating your parents within a home for which they helped pay, requires a closer look by your lawyer.
This situation is likely to become even harsher on your parents unless you and your sister get involved, with legal backup to your claims.
FEEDBACK A different view regarding the question, Why do women steal another woman’s partner? (June 25):
Reader – “I am a plain woman in a long-term marriage to a handsome and charming man. I’ve heard it all: “How can YOU be married to him!” Even been told to my face that women were going to “steal” him.
“My attitude has always been that my husband was an independent adult. He’s not an object to be “stolen.”
“Our relationship is based on more than appearance. If he leaves, it isn't going to be because of the action of others but decisions about our relationship.
“If it’s a relationship so easily broken I want to know. Adults take responsibility for their choices and actions. When we were younger he walked away from a couple of organizations because of harassment by people who were convinced that they were magically going to convince him to leave me and our partnership.”
Tip of the day:
Surviving Covid relies on our adaptability and staying focused on getting through it safely, together.