Years ago, my husband was very close friends with a woman I didn’t know. They were friends long before I met him. We dated a few months before he introduced her to me, and she was warm and welcoming.

But there was something about her I didn’t like. I felt uncomfortable in their presence. I was pretty bitchy to her, and we ended up getting into a huge fight. But I think I was mad at my husband and not really mad at her.

I gave my husband an ultimatum, and he chose me. I’d see her every year or so, and I’d maintain my rude position. I could see she really wasn’t bothered about me, but I could also see the love between her and my husband on those occasions. I’ll be honest: it wasn’t lust/love, it was friendship love. And I stole that from them.

As I mentioned, years have passed. I think they’ve started to hang out a bit. I think my husband isn’t putting up with my crap anymore. I haven’t said a word. But I feel guilty. Should I say something to her?

Old stories

Years go by, and people grow and mature. You don’t have to go out of your way to say something to her, but if you see her, or have the opportunity to see her, then yes. Say something.

From your description, I think you were probably jealous and insecure. You wanted your boyfriend to love you and only you. Once you were married, you could have loosened your grip. But you didn’t. I’m happy to hear that you recognize that you hurt them both by disallowing their friendship. And THAT is what you should apologize for.

It takes strength and maturity to recognize our mistakes. You should be proud of yourself for your personal growth.

I recently had an issue with my tooth. I went to my dentist who referred me to a specialist. I made an appointment; when I walked in, the receptionist greeted me with a big bosomy hug, which I found odd and out of place.

I saw the specialist, who was wearing scrubs on the bottom, but an open shirt on top. When she leaned in, her breasts were right in my face. She finished the exam, and I went to book my next appointment. Another receptionist was there, dressed very sedately.

I’m now so uncomfortable with that whole office that I don’t want to go back. I’m a 53-year-old man, with a wife and teenage daughters. The whole thing was very odd.

Too Much Breast

Well, that is an interesting doctor’s office, for sure. I suggest you ask your dentist for a different specialist. There must be more than the one you saw. If they ask why, just say that you weren’t comfortable there. Don’t get into the details. Ask the dentist to call and have your information sent over.

Simple and tidy. You never have to show your face there again.

FEEDBACK Regarding inappropriate dressing (May 5):
Reader – “This person is an adult who is proud of her body and wants to show it off. Do you remember a letter by several female teens complaining about older men looking at them? Yes, they were wearing revealing clothes, but that was just to get the guys in their classes to notice them.

“Unfortunately, you never know when you’re going to be exposed to Boobs on Parade, which is what my wife’s female relatives refer to those who expose them.

“My dentist’s receptionist and a local pharmacist are both essentially topless routinely. They’re both pleasant, but I don’t feel comfortable around them.

“I wish women would be more selective about when and where they show off their bodies.”

FEEDBACK Regarding the woman charged by Uber (May 5):

Reader – “She should dispute the charges with her credit card company.  Then it becomes the company’s onus to prove the charge.  If the ride-share driver/company has a history of doing this, then the dispute becomes quite easy.

“Plus, report the driver and the company to the BBB.

“I would also take it as a lesson learned.  Before leaving any future ride-share, take a photo of the car, so the driver knows and sees.

“I also suggest rotating designated drivers.  Having a good time does NOT necessarily imply needing to consume alcoholic beverages.”

Reader #2 – “I suggest contacting their credit card company to explain the situation. Ask them to investigate and request they reverse the charge.”

Reader #3 – “Interesting problem that is likely too common. I now see the benefits of taking pictures when getting into an Uber to use if falsely accused.”