Dear Readers - Here are some questions and comments from my live online chat about relationships with Friends With Benefits (July 6):

I feel that being FWB's is just a place-holder. How do I move past this arrangement and get involved with a meaningful relationship? Not necessarily with the FWB person, but just moving to a new relationship?

More than a "place-holder," it's a hold-back. Availability to him/her keeps you from getting out to new places where you might meet someone, and from connecting with new friends who'd widen your contacts and possibilities for a new relationship.

If you want "more" from a relationship, the FWB is a same-old same-old from whom you have to disengage.

Do guys judge girls who are interested in casual sex as being strictly FWB? Is it a turn off for them and therefore the girls lose their future girlfriend/wife potential?

If you openly label your early physical contact with someone as "casual," you risk having that relationship stay stagnant in that mode. Better to just enjoy the intimacy, if you're open to it, without professing to be "disinterested" in anything serious. Too many of those disclaimers come back to bite people.

How can a person deal with others that assume that any opposite gender friendship is a FWB situation when in reality it is not?

It shouldn't matter what people "assume" unless your friendship is putting off guys you'd like to date, or someone with whom you're already involved. If the latter is the case, the person you're seeing as a partner should be introduced to your friend and invited along on many of your get-togethers.

And if the friendship is keeping other people from showing interest in you, you may be seeing this non-FWB friend too often, or acting too affectionate, or doing something that's creating this impression that there's more to it.

Is it cheating if you're having benefits with someone in a casual relationship?

If you're already in a relationship with someone else - or married - of course it's cheating! The word "casual" doesn't make cheating okay.... it signifies calculating, and careless of the other relationship, and disrespectful of the other person, plus deceitful on the part of the cheater.

I have a friend who spends a lot of time with me - like people who are in a relationship, but both he and I claim we're only FWBs. He's constantly over at my place and we do a lot together. Should we make the plunge and admit that we're in a relationship?

Sounds like one or both of you has been afraid to be the first to raise it. So YES, it may well be time to declare yourselves a couple. It's clear you're ready for more than an FWB, so if he responds negatively, it's then time to move on.

I'm seeing someone under the "friends with benefits" tag, however I feel there's emotional attachment on both sides. We've known each other seven years.

He gives me mixed signals - one minute he's so into me and next minute, cold. I like him and don't know how to approach him to ask if there's a possibility of more.

Just ask. Better to learn the answer now, before you hang on for more years, in case the answer disappoints you. Once you know, act on it. If you accept a No, the current relationship will never be the same either, because you basically want MORE.

I have a fair bit of experience with FWB relationships. However, I have always been careful NOT to have a FWB within my primary group of friends, or with a friend's ex, or with someone at work. This is because I have seen with others' FWB's in these situations, that it causes too many problems.

I've had three outcomes from FWB relationships 1) I fell in love and it resulted in a long-term relationship. 2) He fell for me and I was not interested in dating, so I stopped sleeping with him and he found someone else. 3) He became convinced I had romantic feelings for him and it changed the tenor of the relationship so we stopped.

At this point, I doubt I'd have another FWB relationship. The feelings become complicated over time, and I enjoy friendships with men much more when the boundaries are very clear. Just my experience speaking!