I’m happily married to a man I adore. He’s a lovely person and a wonderful husband. He’s also incredibly handsome. One of his good friends is also married and we couples hang out often together. His wife and I have become very close friends.
Neither of them is particularly good looking, but they are lovely people, and we don’t care. I only mention it because they are always commenting on how good looking we both are, but especially my husband.
Recently, I was away on a business trip, and my husband told me they had invited him over for dinner. I was happy for him that he had something to do while I was out of town. He called me several hours later and told me that the dinner was absurd and now he doesn’t know what to do.
Apparently, they had served all foods considered aphrodisiacs: the meal started off with wine and oysters, there was an avocado salad, asparagus, and dessert consisted of a chocolate almond cake and coffee. My husband only found out about the background to the foods while they were being served because the other couple told him. They then started fooling around in front of him and tried to get him to join in.
In other words, they were hoping to engage my husband in a threesome. He managed to escape unscathed, but he’s completely shaken up by the whole event. I returned home the next day and found him in shock. He can’t understand why his friend would do that to him. He’s not even flattered by it because he says it was quite aggressive, and to him, out of nowhere.
Now we don’t know what to say or how to act with this couple.
Threes aren’t for everyone
The two of you need to sit down and discuss the situation calmly, now that some time has passed. First, are either of you at all interested in experimenting with this couple, as a couple, or just one of you and/or them? If so, this is a safe place to do so.
However, if neither of you are interested, which sounds like the case, then you need to discuss how to move forward in your relationship with them again, if the friendship is important to you. This episode may have pushed your husband to a point where he can’t look at them the same and isn’t interested in hanging out with them. He may feel unsafe in their presence, afraid that if left alone with one or both, they’ll come on to him again.
The quickest way to get to the bottom of this is to meet somewhere public, the four of you, and talk it out. You’ll know from that one get-together how to move forward. Just ensure that you and your husband are on the same page.
My wife just screamed at me in front of our guests that I’m lazy and stupid and I’m just lucky that I’m good in bed or she’d kick me out. I couldn’t tell if she was kidding or not because she’s never told me that I’m good in bed before.
We have sex frequently, but it’s nothing out of the ordinary. We just do missionary position, usually in the bedroom, usually at night.
And I’m not lazy or stupid, so what was she talking about?
Crazy Wife
I can’t tell if this whole question is a joke. But what bothers me is that she screamed at you in front of your guests. That’s not respectful or loving or kind. I think you two should discuss your boundaries, especially what is and isn’t appropriate in front of other people.
FEEDBACK Regarding the no gas zone (June 6):
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FEEDBACK Regarding charity chaser (June 9):
Reader – “I always politely say that I’d like to think about it and then ask for a pamphlet or contact information so that I can follow up later with a possible donation. It’s interesting that they rarely are able or willing to provide that to me!
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