I’m a single working mom with a seven-year-old daughter. I work a 30-minute drive away from my house. My daughter goes to school within walking distance of home.
I’m fortunate to have a semi-retired aunt, who cares for my daughter after school three times a week.
My daughter needs to see a specialist. It’s not a life-threatening situation, but something we’ve been monitoring for a while. We finally got an appointment, three months later. I managed to move it up a month, but at a terrible time.
A week ago, I received a confirmation call. I asked if it was possible to change the time and the receptionist said there was an early morning opening. I jumped on it.
Two days ago, I received a confirmation text with the original time scheduled. I called and the woman I spoke with argued with me that no change was ever made, no one had ever called me, and I was making the whole thing up.
I’ve changed my work schedule to accommodate for the early morning appointment, can’t change it again, and have no way of getting my daughter to see this specialist. The next possible opening is in another three months.
Frustrated and Frazzled
That doesn’t sound like a fair situation at all. Assuming you’re local, I concur that our health care system is tricky in terms of doctor availability. It’s hard to find an available doctor, and specialists are booked months in advance.
But since neither of us are willing to take on the system, let’s work with what we’ve got. Tell your employer the situation and ask if you can have the afternoon off as well. I say as well because, I don’t trust the scheduling at the specialist’s office, and I would hate for them to call you back realizing that you did indeed change the appointment.
Worst case scenario, you now have the morning off. Make use of that gift of time. Do whatever makes you feel good. Go back to bed, go to the gym, get your hair done, or meet a friend for coffee; just take the time for yourself.
If your employer says no, since the afternoon is when your aunt is free and available, ask her if she could take your daughter on your behalf. You can FaceTime for the important stuff. It’s not ideal but it’s the next best thing and gets your daughter seen as soon as possible.
You can’t always fight the system, so figure out what’s important and how to work around it.
We’re three best friends, always together since high school. We even attended the same university, and now all live and work in the same city. Two of us, the two guys, live together. The third, a girl, lives at home.
Lately I’ve noticed that my housemate seems different when our girl friend is around. I think he’s starting to have feelings for her. I’m cool with that, as she and I have a platonic relationship and have no chemistry otherwise. But I’m not sure how she’s going to feel and, more importantly, what’s going to happen to our little group.
I want him to be happy, so if she feels the same way, then I’d be thrilled for both of them. But will they leave me out?
You’re jumping the gun. You don’t even know if that’s what’s going on. You need to find out.
Talk to your friend. Ask him what’s going on. Tell him what you think and how you feel. Support him in whatever is going on with him.
If your hunch is right, the important factor will be how she feels about him, and how he then reacts – especially if she’s not on the same page.
FEEDBACK Regarding the woman with the white bump on her eyelid (Feb. 15):
Reader #1 – “I had a white bump on my eyelid for seven years. Every time I asked a doctor about it, I received the same answer. But something was not right and I could feel it, so I kept insisting with other specialists.
“It turned out to be cancer. Fortunately, a plastic surgeon specialist in eyes was able to remove it completely and I am cancer free.
“It’s important to get the right diagnosis.”
Reader #2 – “I have a deformed nail on my foot and I have been asked, when wearing sandals or barefoot at the beach, what happened. I’m very self-conscious about it and feel the question or comments are rude. You can say I should only wear closed shoes but why should I have to. People’s curiosity does not always have to be satisfied.”