I’m 25, and my girlfriend and I tell each other we love each other.

However, a month ago at a family function, she met a male friend of the family. He’s older (40?), rich, nice car, etc. He contacted her online and asked her out.

They went out a couple times as “friends.” Several times, she lied to me about it, later saying she knew I didn’t like it.

I’ve said that I don’t like the guy because he’s clearly interested in her (dinner dates, he visited her while she was in the hospital, etc.)

When I ask how she’d feel if the situation were reversed, I get no concrete answers.

Is it wrong of me to feel uncomfortable and angry? I’m in a transition stage and can’t take her out often and do the things the other guy can. I feel she’s using him as a substitute for these things.

- Annoyed

He’s not a “substitute”… he’s the Other Guy. She’s leading him on by accepting his invitations, and she’s trying to keep you on the hook by not answering or acknowledging she’s doing anything wrong. She may even be considering going for him completely, since all those “extras” he offers clearly attract her.

Have The Talk.

Tell her you can only stay in a relationship with her if she stops “dating” this man.

If she insists they’re just friends, then you should be invited to join them as pals.

State your feelings for her, and your plans for getting ahead in life, but do NOT apologize for offering less than this guy. She either really loves you as you are, or forget it.

My boyfriend and I met on an online dating service; we’ve been in a serious monogamous relationship for three years.

After six months, we became “closer” and I removed my profile. We’d spoken of “love” … so there was no longer a need to remain on the site.

However, HIS profile is still up.

I’ve said that I’d removed mine. I don’t feel that I should have to ask him to remove his. He hasn’t.

- Wondering Why

He’s still “open” for business. That’s the message from having his profile remain on a dating website.

Stop holding this in: Speak up and say so. But don’t let the conversation turn into a power struggle about who wins the argument. Just say that so long as the profile is there, he’s accessible to other women, and that goes against what you believe is a commitment when people express love.

Then wait and watch.

If he still doesn’t remove the profile, it’s time to re-consider how connected you really are.

I’ve been seeing a therapist for three years –I want to bring her (mostly) flowers and books to thank her and to show appreciation, but I wonder if there’s more to it.

What is the general thinking amongst psychologists about why clients bring gifts?

- Unsure

According to Toronto psychologist Cindy Wahler, though the gift may be offered as an expression of gratitude, “some clients feel that providing gifts might put them in a ‘special’ category in the therapist’s eyes or further the importance of the relationship from the therapist’s perspective. This is why therapists should NOT accept gifts.”

A client who wants to give a gift should talk about it to the therapist, in order to process any underlying issue.

However, as a closing gesture when finishing the therapy, a card of thanks is acceptable.

My mother-in-law is always criticizing my housekeeping, cooking and child-rearing. She’s more domestic than me, so always makes me feel incompetent when she points out what I’ve done wrong.

I’ve asked my husband to tell her to back off but he complains that I put him “in the middle” and have to solve my own relationship with her.

- Help!!

Your husband is hiding in the middle –he’s used to his mother’s critical, opinionated behaviour, but it’s unfair and wrong of him to expect you to handle it alone. He needs to speak up, tell Mom he loves you, and she must accept you.

However, you could both benefit from her help.

Instead of feeling insecure, ask this woman for some simple pointers, or to come over and cook with you sometimes.

Like you, she may be needing some positive reinforcement and what better way than getting her to help out?