I’m male, 33, and moved in with my girlfriend of three years. She’s 33, has a daughter, six, who lives with her full-time. She doesn’t want to have another baby past age 35. She feels it’s too old and isn’t sure she wants to go through it again.
I’m not ready for a baby even a year from now, but I can't say no to never having my own child. I get along with her daughter, but I don’t have paternal feelings for her.
Should I stay in this relationship (it’s good) or cut ties now as eventually we won’t be able to agree on this matter?
- Confused

It’s not a “good” relationship when one of the most important issues is left hanging in the air. It’s fine for you to both have different concerns about it, but there has to be some willingness – on both parts - to adapt.
If you won’t consider having a child within two years, and if she’s immoveable on having one later (many women have babies into their later-30s; her doctor would be her best adviser on this), then you might as well face reality, avoid the resentment and anger that’s sure to come, and part now.

Our daughter-in-law has blocked all siblings from having a relationship with her children. My husband and I were tolerated, as babysitters, when she returned to work. After several years, I wanted my own time back.
My DIL immediately stopped phoning us or allowing any of the grandchildren to have time with us. She said I'd never see the grandkids again.
We invited our son over to talk and repeated what their mother had said. He didn’t care, said he had no intentions of spending time with his siblings, their kids, or us. He had friends he spends time with.
Meanwhile, his in-laws and the aunts/uncles on his wife’s side are fully involved.    
Then, at a family gathering he stated that the grandkids would be dropped off for a couple hours on the weekend. His wife and he left immediately. She phoned to say they had a fight and that he’s not to be making plans.  
We haven’t had the kids visit for a year. They live five minutes away. We spoke again to our son. He said, "You are the problem. It’s not normal for grandparents and my siblings to want a relationship with my children or to want to have them in their homes."
He said that years ago, after I handed the first-born when crying, to him and not to his wife. He said it was the most disgraceful, cruel-hearted thing I could’ve done to his wife.
He sees her control issues as normal and supports her one hundred per cent. I now send the kids cards and phone occasionally. My oldest grandchild has become introverted around us, at rare family events.
- Estranged and Hurt

Your son has made his choice, though unkindly, for the sake of his marriage and family life. Accept his support of his wife. She’s cold, hard and controlling, but they have the right to live their life their way.
For some reason, your son wanted to separate himself from past relationships and form a new pattern with his wife. Whether he eventually sees her differently, only time will tell.
Meanwhile, keep showing interest in your grandchildren by any means you can - cards, small birthday and holiday gifts, email when they’re older. At some point, one or more may seek you out.

I’m 21, male, an unhappy university senior. I don’t see light at the end of the tunnel. I’m not a social butterfly, I have three good friends, but we’re no longer on speaking terms this year.
I have no job offers though everybody I know has had multiple offers while I don't even get a second look. Success in anything is elusive. My grades are poor.
Maybe I’m delusional, but I don’t think this is of my own doing. I have high expectations of myself, but I cannot live up to them. I don't know if I should see a counsellor at my school.
- Depressed

Get to your university’s counselling service immediately. You’re defeating your own chances by not taking care of the underlying problem, which is your admitted unhappiness.
Depression among people your age, facing an uncertain future, is not uncommon and can be helped by professional therapy and/or treatment.