While in university, I was very attracted to a young woman. We were both somewhat involved then (and ultimately married those same people). In our third year, she became pregnant, got married, and our relationship ended. But we'd been pretty heavily emotionally involved with each other.

I met her and her husband and daughter a couple of years after her marriage and a strong connection was still there.

Many, many years have passed. I've thought of her often and very fondly. I've thought of trying to contact her (by letter) to say that I still think of her and how much I regret not stepping forward back then and telling her the strength of my feelings.

I know where she now lives, but she'd have no idea where I am. For all I know, she hasn't thought of me for years.

Life is full of regrets and roads not taken - never has this been more apparent to me as I get older. What do I do?

Unsure

Keep your regrets to yourself, since you have no idea if she has any at all. The only exception is this: If you know that she's on her own, you could reach out with a letter to say hello. If she responds, then you can suggest meeting.

Otherwise, you'd be approaching a married woman, possibly with grandchildren now, and dumping your emotions on what might be a stable, happy situation.

Remember, life can also be full of foolish moves, if you don't think them through very carefully, from others' viewpoints as well as your own.

My ex and I shared 50/50 custody of our son, 16, since he was four. His father's an explosive personality; we were never able to communicate with regard to our son. His father had left his adoptive parents and school when he was 14, living on the streets.

My son recently decided he wanted to reside full time with his father, as there are no rules, no guidance. He's now failing tenth grade and has no desire for school. His father supports this.

I tried calling him several times this week, leaving messages, only to be told yesterday by my ex that my son suffered a serious injury. His father has had him driving bobcats, heavy machinery, ATV's etc. since he was a very young age.

I know my son likes this, however, his father has no sense to supervise him. I cannot sleep, worrying that my son's future is disastrous. He won't listen to me. What can I do?

Lost

Unless his father is actually abusing him, there's little you can do by way of intervention. Instead, bolster your relationship. Though it's difficult, back off from criticizing and advising what he should do, and show some interest in what he is doing.

Despite this accident, handling heavy machinery can lead to worthwhile employment. Try to see your son in a neutral setting and show respect for the skills he does have. If you stop opposing his father verbally and in your attitude, he'll relax more with you. Accept that the father-son relationship is important to him at this age, no matter your disapproval. As your own relationship softens, the influence you've had on him in other directions may come into play.

Give their living arrangement a year of your "approval" and hopefully, you'll then have a better chance to offer direction when he needs to think about choices like finding a job, learning a trade, or resuming high-school education.

My sister and her live-in boyfriend each have a child and different parenting styles. His son called me fat and his father did nothing about it. The boy has repeated the word but his father's never disciplined him or apologized to me.

I do understand that he's just a child but I feel it's so important that a parent disciplines the boy in front of the person. My sister and I aren't talking anymore as I feel she's not standing up to her partner and standing up for me.

Upset

There's a difference between "discipline" and teaching. Any caring adult can help a child learn, and as an aunt, you have the opportunity to say, "that word hurts me, which is sad, because I'd rather have fun with you, than feel hurt and not want to play with you."

If you show caring for the child, he likely will respond.