I recently discovered that my wife of 17 years was having an "emotional affair" with a married man. She’d talk or text this guy at 2 am.

She finally admitted it was a man whose children attend the school where she works, and they’d been talking regularly for three months. She said that nothing physical happened. But, through the cell phone bills, I discovered that they’d met six months ago and she even called him while we were vacationing in Jamaica.

I can’t trust her anymore. I enrolled in marriage counselling to try and save this marriage. However, from the start of our sessions I'm to blame for everything from this “emotional affair” to her hating my mother.

I love her, yet felt ready to cut loose. But we have two teenage kids at home.

- Any advice?

An emotional affair is a shocking red flag, but it doesn’t always have to signal a train wreck.

Your wife was wrong to “escape” mentally and emotionally from whatever problems she felt in the marriage.

Nevertheless, you both now have the opportunity to go through the tough but potentially rewarding work of marriage counselling.

She blames you, because of her guilt over this “affair.” Let her vent. Then, raise your own issues about what’s been wrong in the union.

A skilled counsellor will help you both hear what each is saying, and also the hurt and disappointment that each felt.

For the sake of your teenagers, hang in long enough to understand whether there’s no hope at all, or worth another try.

My boyfriend lies to me often and easily about what’s going on his life. The lies seem small enough but it makes me wonder, what else is a lie?

I usually don't call him out on his lies. But sometimes I scream and cry… at him. In return, he yells and avoids the topic.

He's currently using illegal drugs - nothing heavy but still putting himself at risk.

I don't want to be judgmental, but I feel like an idiot just standing by. I feel like we have too many large differences to work out.

Also, I don't know that he'll ever stop lying to me. I don't want to leave him. And I don't want to make him feel negative about his own life choices.

But if I stay, I'm afraid that any future children will be exposed to his hurtful mistruths plus his casual attitude towards illegal drugs.

What’s the most logical decision for me to make?

- Sad and Uncertain

Find your common sense, attach it to your spine, and leave.

The only reasons to hang onto a compulsive liar who abuses drugs and can’t take criticism, is if you want to punish yourself for years to come.

It’s not just future babies you should worry about – it’s you who’s at risk of losing all self-respect.

You ask for logical advice, yet you’re running from logic every time this guy tells another “mistruth.”

Save yourself, and go.

My son’s wife doesn’t open up to me, as she’s close to her own mother.

Also, she’s a busy doctor and mother and needs no advice from me.

- Left Out

Working moms often don’t have time to confide in two sets of parents. Don’t be insulted by this, or intimidated.

Doctors need warm, caring support just like any other young women. Be pleasant, show interest in her work, and offer to be helpful.

Consistently respectful mother-in-laws are more valued over time.

I’ve been experiencing anxiety attacks for several months, with severe symptoms - constant headache, dizziness, confusion and feeling unstable.

My doctor prescribed depression pills, but the side effects were more extreme.

If I face all my fears head on, will they simply go away?

- Worried

Re-visit your doctor with a list of your symptoms and how the pills affected you. It’s worth your well-being to see if a different medication or lower dose will be better tolerated.

Also, ask for a referral to a specialist in behaviour modification. You need professional guidance to explore the origin of your fears, what triggers them now, and how to change the way you’ve handled them until the present.

Otherwise, confronting fears head on, and on your own without therapy, could prove too daunting while you’re in this anxious state.

Meanwhile, mild exercise like walking and maintaining good nutrition can aid your treatment process.