We’re having some work done on our upstairs bathroom and our en suite bathroom. The guys doing the work are nice, respectful with regards to cleanliness, wear covers over their shoes and leave the place as tidy as possible at the end of each shift.

I haven’t seen anything out of the ordinary in the main washroom, however, I did find some strange oddities when they were working on my en suite. One day I found a box of tampons, that had been under the sink on top of the counter. Another day, two of my drawers were slightly open when I entered my room after they had left. And I can’t find a hot pink bra that I just bought to wear with a dress for an upcoming party.

I have two sons, both under 10, so I can’t look to them for any of these issues. And then it’s just myself and my husband…. and a bunch of workmen I don’t know.

What do you think I should do?

Rummaging

Even though it’s improbable, check with your husband and sons first. They may have been looking for something else and just left your tampons out. If that doesn’t pan out, you’ll need to speak with the foreman, or your contractor. You can’t make assumptions, but you can deduce. Just let them deal with the workers individually.

If you’re uncomfortable, you may have to switch companies.

When I was very young, I was married to a very rich, spoiled man of 30. His addictions were women and alcohol. I had limited education. He drained money and I started to study language, so I could work in my embassy as an interpreter.

One day I missed my bus home, was late, and sent my 12-year-old daughter to the store. The shopkeeper touched her inappropriately. I told my husband he should be living with us, and he beat me, giving me a black eye. He called my stepfather to complain that I shouldn’t be going to university and my stepfather said he should break my legs to keep me home.

I was so afraid; I fled to a friend in another city, but she wouldn’t let me stay. The next day I went to the hospital, fell, and a doctor told me that whoever did this to me should be in jail. I told him I had nowhere to go. He had a friend from England who heard my story, and offered to send me money monthly, and suggested I live on the university campus. For three years, he sent me money, which saved my life.

I did a Library Science degree and worked as a librarian. I was happy with my job, everything was fine, and then my elder daughter came to bring me to Canada. In revenge for leaving her, she made me a slave to her family of seven people. I worked 18 hours a day and she barely fed me; I lost 16 pounds.

She told people I couldn’t speak English, even though I did my degree in English. I managed to get away from her long enough to find a counsellor and tell them of the abuse. They helped me escape.

I’m now 85 with osteoporosis and arthritis and living alone. Can you help?

Hard Life

I’m sorry you’ve had to endure all those hardships in your life. If you’re in Ontario, you need to contact Ontario Health atHome. They will check your needs and eligibility and help you apply. You will have an initial assessment done, and they will help you identify which type of service is best for you. There may be a cost, but they will help you navigate that too.

FEEDBACK Regarding the mother feeling defeated (Jan. 1):

Reader – “The mother says her daughter has been diagnosed with depression.  But the description of her behaviour - angry outbursts, threats, erratic behaviour, blaming others, a possible six-week cycle in mood changes — doesn’t sound like depression. Depression is characterized by sadness, low energy, hopelessness etc.  It sounds more like bi-polar disorder.

“Perhaps she’s not getting the right medications in the right dosage, and perhaps her behaviour might be the result of side effects. I have known several people with minor mental health issues who worsened because of medication side effects, proven when they improved greatly once the medications were discontinued or changed.

“Unfortunately, unless they can convince her to try family therapy, the parents are going to be largely in the dark as to what’s happening.  They might try to determine what medication she’s taking so they can discuss it with the independent therapist you wisely suggested they consult.”