I’m a divorced woman, 40, who attended a party at my close friend’s house. I asked her about a man who arrived, as I’d not met him before. She said, “Oh, he’s my new neighbor, he has a wife and kids, but he’s dropped in alone for awhile.”

He later talked to me for five minutes, nothing important, turned out he’d seen me somewhere before and that we both worked in a similar field.

An hour later, I was talking to my friend when this guy came up behind me, put his arms around me, stuck his tongue fully in my ear, and licked. He then murmured, “I’m leaving, good-bye.” My girlfriend and I were shocked!

What do I do about that??

Grossed Out

Wash your ear, well! This guy gets around, and gives new meaning to “multi-lingual”: He’s a player openly on the prowl.

Any gesture on your part – positive OR negative – will be both invitation and challenge to him. Remember this - a man who attempts seduction when next door to his own wife and kids, lacks respect and loyalty to all. He’s a creep.

My husband’s father went to jail for fraud years ago. We don’t talk about it in our family. But a neighbor said something to our son, 14. He was so sure that it was a lie that he threw his backpack at him and came home almost hysterical. Do we insist that it was a lie, or is it time we confessed the truth to our children?

Mum Family 

Your son needs to hear the truth from you and his father. It’s an opportunity to explain how bad judgment and disregard for law has such very serious consequences, that a whole family can be affected years later.

Try to include any positive facts about his grandfather, too, so that he doesn’t feel personally tarred by being related to someone who committed a criminal act. He’s old enough to understand that people have choices about which of their “talents” they develop.

If his grandfather has served his time and is a part of your lives, help your son know that it’s okay to still love him.

My boyfriend lies about where he’s going. When caught out, he says he doesn’t like to be asked, he feels controlled so he says whatever he thinks I’ll believe.

I was previously engaged to a serial cheater and was badly hurt. My boyfriend knows this, so I think it’s understandable that I want to know the truth about where he goes.

Sometimes I can’t reach him at work, or he’s not home for two hours later than usual. He’ll say he was “hanging out” with friends, or lie that he went to a movie. Am I overreacting to feel it’s a deal-breaker?

Insist on Truth

You’re both overreacting. No one wants to have to repeatedly check in, but lying and not responding is like waving a red flag to a bull, and he knows it. His response is immature, sure to push you away. Yet he’s really just pushing back.

He is NOT your ex; so unless you keep choosing the same kind of man, deal with this guy on his own. Stop calling and demanding his whereabouts.

Use normal judgment, not constant suspicion. If he’s repeatedly over four hours late without explanation, if he “disappears” regularly without saying he’ll be out, take a break.

Then discuss with each other what kind of trusting “deal” you can both accept.

FEEDBACK Regarding chaotic, thankless Christmas gift-opening (Jan. 11):

Reader – “We also experienced children ripping open gifts, never knowing who the gift was from, and rushing to open the next.

“When cleaning up, the mothers had no idea what belonged to which child, and until they asked they didn’t know who the gift was from.

“There was never a thank you from the child.

“Solution: It was agreed that children under 16 would draw a name of their cousin, as a secret Santa.

“When the gift exchange took place, I asked the youngest grandchild to select a gift and give it to the person whose name was on it.

“We all waited until the gift was opened, a thank you extended, and then the next grandchild in order of age repeats this procedure. Everyone has a chance to see what the child received, as well as the mother.

“Eight years later, it’s been working for us.”

Gramma