My wife is a social media maven. She is constantly taking photos and videos of our children and posting them to her Stories. I grew up differently, in fact, I’m a decade older than my wife and not as obsessed/attached to social media as she is. I have asked her on numerous occasions not to post so much about our life. It makes me uncomfortable. I hate knowing that my children are out there for the world to ogle.
My wife sees it differently. She believes it’s part of her brand. That it’s a legacy for the kids that they’ll be able to look back and watch themselves grow up. She argues it’s no different than home movies or still photographs. I argue it’s hugely different because those were for private viewing while her posts are for public consumption.
As my children get older – and they are still quite young but no longer babies – I worry more and more. There are so many predators out there, live and online, and I hate to think of them thinking about my kids.
How do I get my wife to see my point of view and stop posting?
TikTok poster
Unfortunately, this sounds like a generational gap, probably one of many between you two. Taking lots of videos and photos of your kids is a great idea, for memories and posterity. Posting them on social media for all to see is not a great idea. And, as I’m sure you know, once something is posted, it can never be totally deleted, meaning it can always be found. That’s what’s scary about the internet.
She could create a private account, for friends and family only, where people need to request access. That would be a good compromise for you two. Another option, which celebrities often use, is to include children from the back. Look up Richard Gere’s latest post for a charity he endorses. It’s a photo of him and his wife, and the backs of their two young boys. No faces seen.
Your wife needs to hear you out on your sense of security and privacy. They’re your kids as much as they are hers. You two need to be on the same page about this.
I started dating a girl and I really liked her. We were together six months before she became unwell. At first it was just a cold, which then became a bad flu. She got worse so we assumed she had COVID.
No course of antibiotics or medicines were eliminating any of her symptoms. She was getting worse every day. She ended up in hospital where they discovered she had an infection in her blood stream. She underwent an intense procedure to rid her of the root of the infection and she’s now in recovery.
I’ve stayed by her side throughout this whole ordeal. We spent a lot of time talking and I realize she’s not the girl for me. How do I break up with her after all of this?
In sickness and in health
Fortunately, you’re not married, so that statement doesn’t apply. You’re a good person. You stood by your girlfriend when she wasn’t well and stayed by her side. You’re not breaking up with her because she’s unwell; you discovered throughout your intense time together that she’s not the one. That’s OK; you haven’t even been together a year.
I think the truth always lands the softest. Lies come back to bite you. Just tell her that your feelings have changed.
You never know – she may feel the same way.
FEEDBACK Regarding the family with airline issues (March 21):
Reader – “The Air Passenger Protection Regulations which are part of the Canada Transportation Act has a section dedicated to the Assignment of Seats to Children under the age of 14.
“The carrier must facilitate the assignment of a seat to a child under the age of 14 by offering, at no additional charge, (a) a child who is four or younger, a seat that is adjacent to their parent, guardian or tutor’s seat; (b) a child who is five to 11 years of age, a seat that is in the same row as their parent, guardian or tutor’s seat, and that is separated from that parent, guardian or tutor’s seat by no more than one seat; and (c) a child who is 12 or 13 years of age, a seat that is in a row that is separated from the row of their parent, guardian or tutor’s seat by no more than one row.”