A four-year relationship recently came to a crashing halt and devastated me. The woman of my dreams and I had been planning our future together; we were both in relationships when we met and though we initially fought our desires, we ended those relationships. After the "honeymoon phase" we had our problems, but always had amazing communication and worked through any disagreement.
My plans to propose were blown away when she, the night after pledging her undying love for me, said she met someone. A spiritual connection happened and within three weeks she was not only gone, but moved in with him and sporting a tattoo. She does come from a broken home and was sexually abused as a child, something she recently dealt with.
I’m very stable and successful and cannot understand what the heck happened. She’s honestly mad at me that I can't understand and that I’m not happy for her. How does someone do this?
- Devastated and Confused

You already said it – you’re stable, she’s not. You probably knew that going in, but with her passionate personality – capable of instant “spiritual connection” – the promise of a dynamic relationship proved too compelling for you to realistically figure the long-term odds.
She hasn’t really “dealt with” her past: She’s still running from it by abandoning your trust so casually and embracing another so recklessly. It’s all about pleasing herself, for however long she can.
Count yourself lucky that it happened sooner or later. She left, because she’s capable of it … and likely will eventually drop tattoo-lover, too.

When I married four years ago, I gave my husband all my love and affection, but I’ve since lost love for him. I have a complex about the fact that we look, and are, an odd, incompatible couple. I’m embarrassed to introduce him to my friends and colleagues.
Due to this, I’ve been in a mild depression. He’s nice and caring, but I don’t feel happy with him. I have to downplay myself, so that my husband doesn’t feel insecure. I fear that I’ll eventually hurt my marriage and family (there’s cultural pressure on me to have children soon).
Yet I feel I’ll die from guilt if I leave him. And, will I find someone with my divorce label (a cultural taboo)? How would I proceed with more confidence in myself, to find someone more compatible?
- Crossroads

You’re trying to satisfy conflicting pressures: a cultural sense of duty vs. an emerging sense of self-preservation. Clear your head and think through whether you can live estranged from those you love, any less easy than living unhappily with this man and feeling stifled.
Depression and misery in either scenario are not your only choices. Talk to this man and see how he feels about the relationship … he may surprise you in also finding it unsatisfying, especially as you’ve withdrawn your love, and are delaying getting pregnant.
Also, talk to someone you trust and respect in your family or community, about the realities when a union doesn’t work. You’re not the first person among them to ever contemplate a divorce. And while labels may initially be tossed about, in this society they simply cannot stick. There’s too much regard for individual fulfillment.
One thing to tell any critics: There’s no wisdom or high morality in knowingly bringing a child into an unhappy home, with a depressed mother resenting being trapped. It’ll create at least as much emotional harm to all, as any divorce.

I like this guy at my workplace but I'm unsure if he likes me. We work on opposite sides of the office; I only see him when he’s going to the restroom or through the elevator doors.
I catch him looking at me, then looking away when I look up. I’ve been told he’s extremely shy and doesn’t say much to anyone. Does he like me? Should I even bother? I’ve been wrong in the past about whether guys like me.
- Too Silent

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. But so far, this is all in your head. There may be a mild attraction between you, but there’s no basis for “like.”
Use email, or beat him to the exit when he leaves for lunch or home. Ask straight up, “Would you like to have coffee?” If he passes on it, for whatever reason, the next move is his. Or forget it.