During the winter, you responded to someone having issues with chalet guests. The summer is coming up quick and I always have issues with my guests. I know it’s early, but I’d like to get a handle on things before it’s too late.

I’m in my late 30s, as our most of my friends, and their partners are at most early 40s. We all have young kids, and some still have babies (including me). Every summer I invite different couples up for a few days, usually extended weekends. So, I have a few days to myself, and then I’m a host and social; and again, and again.

Most people bring up food and beverages, help and are fun. But each couple has their idiosyncrasies. For example, one couple only brings up EXACTLY what I request – nothing more, nothing less. I usually ask my guests to bring up food for one of each meal, per day. So, for those who arrive Thursday, they can oversee lunch Friday, dinner Saturday and breakfast Sunday. And that’s what this couple does. The rest of the time, they don’t lift a finger.

Another couple bring up tons of food, help in the kitchen, but by 4 p.m. they are tanked! They almost always pass out Sunday before they’re supposed to go home and end up leaving Monday morning, apologetic.

And yet another couple, whom I adore, just explode their life in the guest room and bathroom, never offer to bring their own sheets and towels, or strip the bed, or do anything housework oriented.

I love having a cottage to share but I’m not a chef, I’m not a maid, and I’m not running a youth hostel. How do I make this more fun for everyone, myself included?

Summer Fun

You need to be up front and discerning. There are only 10 weekends in the summer, and you don’t want to waste any of them being unhappy. Decide with your husband which weekends you’d like to invite guests; and which guests you’d like to invite.

Then put together an invitation that states clearly what you would like your guests to bring (sheets, towels, basic foods, beverages, whatever) and your expectations, for example, no smoking in the house.

If you’re into it, you could have themed weekends, for example, a Hawaiian theme with mai tais and a luau; or a cowboy/cowgirl theme with hotdogs and a hoedown.

Whatever you do, know that hosting always requires prep, cleanup and usually incurs some extra costs. So, if you’re not up for any of that, don’t host.

Recently, I was stood up. I met someone online and we’d been communicating daily for a month. I really felt a connection and I gathered he did too. As hokey as it sounds, we decided to meet on Valentine’s Day for our first in-person date. We agreed it would either be super romantic, or super lame, but either way, it would be a good story.

We chose a restaurant, and I secretly had my cousin, and her boyfriend spend their evening there as well. Their reservation was slightly earlier, so when I arrived, we acknowledged each other. I was escorted to my table and waited. After five minutes, I texted my date and offered to order him a drink. After another five minutes, I ordered myself one. I waited half an hour, and he was a no-show. I never heard from him again. Why would someone do that?

Embarrassed

Don’t be embarrassed. You didn’t do anything wrong. Some people are just cruel. Something could have happened to him…. But it’s odd that he never reached out again.

Chalk it up to experience and get back out there. You’re still you.

FEEDBACK Regarding feeling guilty (Jan. 20):

Reader – “She wants to make up for not focusing on her husband after another rude patron ruined their date night.

"Having been married to a person much like the rude patron, I can tell you, in the moment your husband was right. Frustrations were running high, and probably that man’s quiet spouse was also on edge about the behaviour.

“I’m sorry you dealt with that energy. I agree you should call the restaurant, as Lisi suggested. State what happened. You don't have to hold them accountable. How patrons choose to express themselves is out of their control, and you'd like to tell the server/hostess that they didn't deserve that. Kindly let them know you were disappointed and don't think you'll return, but you hope they can handle that type of situation better in the future.

“I hope you can both find a nice place to have that coffee and dessert soon."