I've been married for 24 years; we have four grown children. For the past three years my wife's been working late, coming home at 1:30-to-2am.

She doesn't go out with me anymore unless one of the kids is with us. She won't touch me and doesn't want or let me touch her. When I asked what was wrong she stopped talking to me for a while.

I've asked her if I did something wrong and she said no. I've asked her to go to counseling with me. That got her angry and she refused.

When she sometimes goes out I ask her where she went and she gets angry. She'll sometimes say she went back to work but she hasn't. I've checked. I have never flirted or cheated on her. What should I do?

Worried and Frustrated

You should NOT accept this silence any longer. Tell her she's acting as though she's finished with the marriage and you, and unless she tells you otherwise, you have to assume that's what she wants.

Then, see a lawyer. Without a legal understanding between you two, things can get far more complicated, for example, should she decide to dig into joint finances without discussion.

Even if you do NOT wish to separate, you need to know the legal consequences if she makes the first move (she's certainly sending signals that she's moving on, in one way or another).

Since you appear to have no idea what happened between you two (drifted apart? sexual problems?) I also suggest you go to counselling on your own. It'll help you probe your own behaviour and also think more about your future and how you'll handle it, whether with her or apart.

My boyfriend of six months is 42; I'm 36. In my strict Asian upbringing, my parents taught me to wait for sex before marriage.

We're now in a serious committed relationship and talked about getting engaged and married within the next two years.

The problem is I don't have any feeling of being aroused or excited when he comes close to me. I'm attracted to him physically and like him. We kiss, touch, feel, hug, cuddle, take showers together, sleep next to each other on the same bed, but I get nervous and freeze up like a dead frog.

He often gets excited and explodes. I've begged him not to try oral sex with me and I am most fearful of intercourse. Do I need to see a psychiatrist or sex therapist, or take medication?

Terrified

Talking to a specialist and getting solid information about your own body as well as about sexual function, will be very helpful.

Start with a trusted family doctor or gynecology specialist to reassure yourself that you're healthy and likely have no medical reasons for unusual fears regarding normal sexual activity including oral sex and intercourse.

If you're still terrified, you should see a sex therapist along with your boyfriend, to discuss how to relax together, and build desire in you.

But if you're still blocked, there may be factors from your past and/or upbringing that need to be discussed with an individual therapist.

While seeing several professionals sounds like a long process, it's an important one and will help you immensely once you get started down this path. If you both love each other, and go through this together, it can make for a lifetime of fulfilling intimacy as a couple.

I'm a girl, 16, and last night my best girlfriend suddenly kissed me. I stopped her and asked what she was doing. She didn't give me much of an explanation.

She knows I've dated girls in the past, but I don't like her like that. She's more of a sister. I don't want to hurt her but how do I let her know I don't want this to continue but still want to stay friends?

Uncomfortable

Be honest, while sensitive to her feelings. Tell her, I consider you as my sister, someone I trust that much. I don't want to fool around or risk losing you. So it's friends only, but absolutely best friends.

If she's hurt, back off awhile, then contact her and try to carry on as if nothing happened. No more explanations, no heavy discussions. And no discussing this with others, as it could mortify her.