My wife is stuck in the ‘70s. For the most part I’m OK with that. Except when it comes to her lady parts. She’s all about the “bush.” I am much neater, and keep myself trim and tidy, shaved to a modicum of what I think is a normal amount of pubic hair.

I love my wife, obviously, but I’m really disgusted by her hairy privates. I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but I don’t want to get intimate with her either.

How do I tell her that she is in desperate need of a depilatory?

Scary hairy

Well, it’s HER body and therefore HER decision how she chooses to handle her own pubic hair. Full stop. However, if it’s preventing intimacy between you two, then it’s important to raise the topic. Just be very, VERY sensitive when you do.

Have a heart-to-heart with her. If your goal is pleasure for both of you, then one would think she’d be on board. You could also remind her that hair grows back, so if she tried trimming and really hated it, she could easily go back to her style.

If she seems open to the idea, in this season of gift-giving, you could book her the gift of a spa day, including a wax. Many spas have open spaces for everyone, regardless of gender, so you could book yourself a treatment (massage, facial, etc.) while she’s having hers and then meet her in the hot tub.

My 40-year-old daughter and son-in-law are still wearing masks. They have two elementary school-aged children who are also wearing them, in school, sports and in the home when anyone visits - even if it’s just me.

They are a well-educated, healthy, thoughtful, friendly family. When I questioned the need for the ongoing mask wearing, they mentioned someone they knew who had long COVID.

I’m concerned that there might be more impact on my grandchildren psychologically and socially than that of contracting COVID.

What are your thoughts?

Worried Grandmother

Now that winter is upon us, and lots of people are getting sick (colds, flu, strep throat, whatever the season brings), I am seeing more people wearing masks again. However, I have been to several large events recently where very few people were wearing a mask.

Everyone has the right to do as they see fit, in this instance. As a parent, I would lean towards your way of thinking, but there may be more to it than we know. I also know someone suffering from long COVID, and it’s terrible.

I have been friends with another lady for over 50 years. We met while working together and really hit it off. We even lived together for a few years until she moved in with a boyfriend.

We stood up for each other at our weddings and met for lunch whenever I was in the city. I moved away about 10 years ago.

Her husband passed away about three years ago and as she has some health problems, she moved to a retirement condo. We talked regularly on the phone. I invited myself to see her new place and stay overnight two years ago. We had a great time, and she promised we would do it again. It never happened.

I recently had reason to drive to the city and asked if I could stop in for coffee. She said the cleaning lady was coming so it was a bad time, even though there is a restaurant in the building, and we hadn’t seen each other for over a year.

I got an email saying the restaurant was noisy so she couldn’t hear properly there, and she was overwhelmed. I’m very hurt. I haven’t responded and I wonder about ending the relationship.

Old Friends

Perhaps there’s more to the story that she’s not sharing. Maybe she has a new boyfriend and doesn’t want you to know. Maybe she has deteriorated and doesn’t want you to know. Don’t end it. Keep trying.

FEEDBACK Regarding the virgin (Oct. 12):

Reader – “He did her a huge favour. He is scum.

“She is one very wise young lady.  There are guys who will respect her and will want to be with her for who she is.”

FEEDBACK Regarding more sex please (Oct. 19):

Reader – “Has she ever asked him or invited discussion in an inquiring way and not in a complaining way? There could be so many reasons for him not being that sexual.  Maybe he’s from a more conservative background. Maybe he’s in the middle of a stressful project or exams.

“He could also want to understand if her feelings are actually genuine (love) or just lust.  She doesn’t once mention love in her letter, only sex.  Does she actually feel anything emotionally?

“She sounds very young and maybe somewhat immature.”