I’m to be a bridesmaid for my long-time friend. Her fiancé’s nice, polite, but drinks a lot!
He persistently tries to make our group of friends do shots and get drunk.
His fiancée also pressures us. She now drinks a lot, too, and always has stories about getting black-out drunk.
He turns even a pleasant dinner party into drinking games and binge drinking.
At university, I was okay with drinking, but now I’m taking care of my body after a health scare. I occasionally have one or two glasses of wine or a beer, usually with dinner.
I’ve explained this to my friend, but she seems to forget. She doesn't think that they drink a lot (though we’ve seen him drunk for a straight week).
Recently, two friends moved back into town and my partner and I want to get together with them.
However, we’re all afraid that if we invite “the drinking couple,” a nice night of board games, movies, or dinner will include yet another push to get us drinking.
Should I keep the get-together a secret from them? Should I speak to my friend about how uncomfortable we feel when they try to force us to drink?
People whose social goal is consuming lots of alcohol aren’t going to be content with board games.
Still, if only to try to give your long-time friend a wake-up call about where booze binges lead, explain your position to both of them.
Your health comes first. You cannot tolerate pressure to drink more.
Invite them, but choose a movie night out to at least limit the time for drinking.
Hopefully, they’ll get the message, at least when with this group.
I'm 82 and dating again. Widowed five years ago, I was so lonely I went on a senior dating site after a year of grieving.
A wonderful woman and I hit it off after the first date, seeing each other regularly for nearly four years.
We’ve travelled together, and get along so well.
She established that this is strictly friendship, I agreed. I thought she’d eventually change her mind, but she won’t even share a bed together. We have to get twin beds when travelling.
I’d just love to cuddle; at my age it’s probably all I could do.
I treat her so well, buy her gifts, cook her meals, pick up the tabs when we go out. But she’s very independent and won't sleep together.
All her family love me and must wonder why she doesn't show me more love. When I kiss her, she keeps her lips tightly together.
I'm average looking, very clean, dress well, very loving and considerate.
I’d never force myself on her or anybody else.
Should I try and find someone else who’ll show me some love and affection? I really do like her and would miss her very much.
You’re in a modern situation with an old-fashioned woman. She wants your company, expects you to pay the way, yet sticks to her “friends-only” deal.
The only thing that might make her re-consider, could be the prospect of losing such an attentive partner.
It’s a gamble you’d have to be willing to take, which may be difficult.
Weigh your options. You enjoy her company, but you’re frustrated emotionally.
After four years, you can speak up. Say that cuddling and affection are natural needs, and that her aloofness hurts your feelings enough for you to consider moving on.
Now that men have Viagra and other drugs to help them with erectile dysfunction (ED), some older women friends say it’s hard to match their partner’s desire for sex.
They like intimacy, kissing, stroking, etc., but feel little passion.
Are there any safe stimulants for women of a certain age?
The Woman’s Side
Always check with your doctor first.
If healthy, do a Google search on libido boosters for postmenopausal women.
The prescription pill Addyi approved last year by the U.S. Federal Drug Administration is said by critics to have minimal effect and cause headache, low blood pressure, and fainting (the last two especially if used by those who drink alcohol).
There are many “natural” supplements promoted online. Pursue the research to learn their potential side effects.
Dark chocolate has also been promoted as a mood elevator, and enhancer of blood flow to sexual organs. Most women already like the taste.
Tip of the day:
Pressure to join heavy drinking can be alienating, but a friendship’s worth stating your position clearly.