When I was younger, I had a wonky eye and a funny tic to my nose that was directly related to my eye. I was cute, but in a quirky way. I think my cuteness saved me from intense bullying, but I still heard people talking behind my back and saw the way they’d look at me.

I had some good friends who didn’t care how I looked. I’m grateful for their friendship during those years. I saw many doctors and was in and out of hospitals for various issues. We were finally informed of an operation that could fix me, but I needed to wait until I was older.

High school and puberty sucked for me. My “cuteness” factor had diminished and now I was just the girl with the weird eye and the nose tic. My friends were at a different school, with new friends and boyfriends and we grew apart. I made a few new friends, but no one special.

I have finally had both my surgeries, my eye is normal, and my tic is all but gone. I look quite different somehow, and my parents keep telling me I’m beautiful. I’m starting university in the fall and I’m very nervous.

How will I know if people are still seeing the girl with the wonky eye? How will I make friends?

Funny Face

Look in the mirror with your eyes closed. Describe yourself out loud. Write that down. Now look in the mirror with your eyes open and read your description. Is that still what you see? Do you see a girl with a wonky eye, or do you see a girl with beautiful eyes?

Try to see yourself as others see you.

No matter what, hold your head high, walk to class and talk to people. Make the effort to find new friends. When they look at you, they’ll see what you saw in the mirror. Remember that.

My wife and I, both in our 70s, attended a very close friend's family wedding where the youngest son was married in front of his siblings. We have known the kids since infancy.

On the night of the rehearsal, we hosted a party in our hotel room for the kids awaiting the mother to arrive. We enjoyed an evening recalling past parties and holidays spent together. Lots of laughs.

When the mother arrived, and after a few more laughs, one daughter announced that the cousin who was performing the ceremony was gay and bringing a “friend.” My wife and I did not know this cousin and I retorted without much thought, “What does that have to do with the ceremony?” This same daughter then began to make jokes about the youngest sister being a lesbian!

This youngest sister has never shared this information with us before. So, when she got up to leave, I followed her into the hallway where I said that my wife and I loved her for herself.

The next day, all the children gave me the cold shoulder but not their mother. I was hoping to talk to the sister, but an opportunity never presented itself. We rarely see the children now except at their family gatherings. We see the mother infrequently but text each other regularly.

What did I miss and do I need to make amends?

Stunned

I’m also missing something. Clearly you offended these adult children, though I’m not sure how. I suggest you ask their mother, with whom you’re still friends. But not over text. In person or on the phone. I believe you need to speak to the woman you inadvertently offended and apologize if your words came out incorrectly. Your goal was to tell her that you loved her. Full stop. Her sexuality is none of your business. And you’re sorry if you offended her.

FEEDBACK Regarding the good family with the bad dog (May 22):

Reader – “It isn’t just the dog who’s in danger.  If the dog injures or kills someone or another dog, the owners could face fines, but more importantly, a lawsuit.  Surgery on a dog can often cost $10,000 or more.  I wouldn’t even hazard a guess as to what it would cost in plastic surgery and pain and suffering for a child whose face is mangled in a dog attack.

“A dog running into a street can also cause car accidents for which the owners would be responsible — even if the dog is killed in the accident. And certain breeds are excluded from homeowner liability policies by most insurers.  So, these owners should be advised to set aside a big chunk of money if they’re not willing to invest a smaller sum, along with a lot of time, to civilize their dog.”