I'm 21, and have never had a girlfriend.
I've become best friends with a girl in my college class. We’ve been inseparable.
Lately, I’ve fallen for her pretty hard. But I'm too shy to tell her.
I fear rejection, and fear losing our great friendship.
But I want more than just friends.
I have no idea how, or even whether I should, say anything to her about it.
After we graduate this year, she’ll be going back home, so I probably won't see her much.
Is it worth going for? How can I tell if she’ll feel the same way about me?
Without speaking up, you’re left with fears. And not knowing what could’ve been.
Say how sorry you are to be moving apart because you have strong feelings for her.
She already values the friendship, so if her feelings aren’t romantic right now, you can (and should) still keep contact.
Many relationships grow that way, when there’s time apart to re-think what you had together, and what it might mean.
Meanwhile, show confidence in yourself and your feelings, now. Or it’ll be harder to express them next time.
I’ve started dating a guy, and we like each other a lot. We have differences regarding money, but it’s been too early to discuss that.
I have a house with a big mortgage. I also have my own business
He’s a freelance copywriter and rents his apartment. He’s successful, but is sometimes uncertain about the next assignment.
He’s been staying with me a lot… first, on weekends, but now he’ll be here four days and has even spent a couple of weeks at a time (he prefers my computer set-up).
He also likes to go out a lot. We started off splitting restaurant bills but now I’m thinking this is all taking some advantage of me.
He’ll pick up a pizza occasionally but doesn’t think to buy groceries, though he’s eating here often.
How do I broach talking about money without sounding like a skinflint, since I appear more financially secure than him?
Don’t apologize for discussing money and not developing a one-sided pattern.
Say that now that you’re spending a lot of “living” time together, you want to see how things can best be handled.
Explain your overall costs in a general way, e.g. one total sum, vs. your usual income. Ask how his general costs work.
Then mention shared costs, like food. Ask if he can contribute to these.
If he balks, gets angry or defensive, ask what he thinks would be fair.
Hopefully, you’ll come to some agreement. Or, acknowledge a problem.
If you stay together, consider living together so that both of you contribute proportionately to the house and living costs.
My best friend has a crush on a guy famous for being a player in my school.
I want to protect her, but am scared to bring this up.
She might think that I’m jealous or have a crush on him, too.
Should I be honest and risk our friendship?
Ask her what she knows about him. Tell her to ask around before she gives him any encouragement.
Let her discover what’s being said about him for herself.
If she later asks your thoughts, say that if the stories about him as a player are true, you’re worried about her getting hurt.
Encourage her to think it through and put protecting herself first.
My husband’s sister and I haven’t spoken for awhile.
She sent him a text saying I was “spoiled.” I’d picked up his phone to move it and the text was glaring at me.
She’s been envious since he started dating me, because my family was affluent and theirs was not.
We recently had a big wedding. She and her husband had eloped due to lack of funds.
I get it that she was envious. But do I have to talk to her now that she’s dissed me so obviously?
My husband’s so sad about not seeing her and her husband and kids. I feel badly about that.
You’re already on the high road since you can understand her envy. Text messaging unfortunately encourages abrupt comments people later regret.
Your husband should contact her, and say he’s sad for the family to be divided. He can urge her to apologize and say you’re willing to move forward.
Tip of the day:
Fear of rejection can cause you to miss out on experience and the possibilities of fulfillment.